What to do when your goals don't happen.

Have you had goals that you started out with such great enthusiasm?   The stats are out there....the greater majority of people put a lot of planning into their goal, and we like to use the new year to start up goals and yet within the first month it is already a fading memory.

You can count me in that group. I have reached goals, nailed them really well and on the flip side I have set up goals that just fizzed out.  I needed to ask myself why do some of my goals get to the end and others barely make it over the starting line?

What is the difference between a goal that is accomplished and the goal that goes nowhere?

They all start out the same.

🌱Enthusiasm for the goal.....check

🌱 Put together well....check

🌱 Heart in the right place....check

They all start out well, and every one of them has the best chance of getting done.

Like so many others,  I can be creatively amazing for leaving a particular goal behind and find many good reasons or excuses for not paying attention to a goal.

Criticism of your actions or lack of action is not a step in the forward direction, so leave that one alone and pay attention to the difference between what is working for you and what is not to improve your moves to achieve your goal.

Let's look at how you can gain a higher success rate for a goal achieved over a goal that fizzles out.

1. Notice the emotion you attach to what you want in your life.

It always starts out as an inside out job when you are designing the goals you want to achieve in your life.  You really, really want to make this happen. You made the decision to want to have better in your life. It is a deep seated feeling that you have. You are determined. You know that you will make it happen.
 If there is just the slightest whisper in your mind that you don't want to put in the effort, pull back and adjust the goal.  Don't let it go!

2. Dream big and start small.

So many benefits to dreaming big. It all becomes possible in your mind and it is the springboard to move you from imagining to reality.  Your thinking, what you believe to be true and your skills and abilities will need to catch up, so start small.
The small successes will create a big impact on your confidence. It will be the daily actions that will make the big difference for goal success. It is your project and you can break it down to many small steps to make it happen.  Small steps prepare you for giant leaps.

3. Look for habits that will serve you.

When it means so much to you, that everyday your goal is in your thoughts, then you will look for ways to create the habits that lead you towards making it happen. This is not the time to second guess if you should or shouldn't, or if it is too hard to do, your attention is not on the excuses that follow the first thought to take action. Your first thought to make it happen is your best thought. As you practise new ways of doing, they become your new habits.  Just do it.

4. Keep your goal close to you.

Worse thing to do is write your goal, put it in a folder or drawer and out of sight.  It is not meant to be kept safe, it is meant to be seen in big letters, in pictures, on stick it notes, notes on the mirror, anywhere you can be reminded about the why for your goal. When you wake up in the morning, what is important for you to do today that will get you closer?  When you go to bed at night, what dreams will you have about your goal? Keep it close.

Last word -  View success as a side effect.

There is a lot of joy available to you, when you focus more on the journey rather than the feeling that your goals are a job to do, tasks to complete, actions to make happen.  
 Ok, this is the secret sauce!
The purpose of goals is to unlock your best future. You are continually developing your amazing and your goals help to shape how you want to be, what you want to attract in your life and how to give back.  The journey you are on to turn the goals you have designed into reality will mean more to you than the goal itself.  It turns out the goals you are designing and the goal that is achieved is just a side effect of living your best life.  

Gift yourself the space to reflect

Christmas is only days away and a real mixed bag of feelings can come to the surface.

 'Tis the season to be jolly and yet it is also the season ripe to think a little deeper about how you see your life.
It may or may not have been a great year or it may have been a real challenging year but it is a year you can learn from and take your new knowledge into a brand new shiny New Year.

This time, right now can work in your favour.  The year can be filled with the busy routine of your life, not much time to indulge in reflection and to have a focus on just you. It is time to give yourself a gift.

Gift yourself the space to reflect on what was and what can be.

This time, you can make the time to dig a little deeper into what will work better for you as a new year approaches.

 So, it is with the end of one year and the beginning of another you can start reflecting on what was, what could have been and what will be.

Caution! There can be a tension between who you are today and who you want to be tomorrow and that tension gap can easily turn into frustration.  To make sure this doesn't happen,  see that gap as a challenge to create more, to learn more, to be open to possibilities that expand your world.

Here are Nine mighty gift tips to help embrace the gap and shake up the jolly season.

  • The first step is always to look inside and create your beautiful life.
  • Flex your creative imagination to focus on what you want for your future.
  • Muse over what is working in your favour, right now.
  • Chuckle over the falls and mistakes and know that next time you will do better.
  • Think about where do you want to invest your time.  We see time going so quickly, so how can you make it an investment.
  • Use "I can" and "I am" more and know your skills and abilities.
  • Continue to encourage your thoughts on what you love, what is valuable to you.
  • Focus on the loved ones in your life, and the beauty of nature to lift your energy.
  • Set up your fresh targets for the new year.

First Aid for Problems

Problems are seen as a negative in our life.
We want  to get rid of the problems and dream of a life without problems.  I would't say I love problems in my life but I know I need to have them. I even create them.
Diamonds and pearls are created because of friction, tension, irritation and pressure. Problems can present the same environment of friction, tension, irritation and pressures. What if you look at the problems as shaping your life, a life as beautiful as diamonds and pearls.

The problem comes because there is the gap between what you have and what you want.
The problem is when you do not like what you have and you want to get away from it.
We all have problems, whether we are in a good place or not, we want to create, get away, progress to something better.

A life without problems is not real.  If you are saying you have no problems, then what are you doing with your life?

How you look at, action, make sense of your problems is the remedy.  It isn't to have a life without problems, it is to have a life where problems provide a catalyst, a learning curve, a change in thought. A problem is an opportunity to shape your life.

I don't buy in to the phrase "there are no problems, only solutions" , I am more into the phrase "every problem has a solution".

Hands up, who has had a tough time or lots of tough times?  That would be everyone, 
so you are not alone.

There is not a lot of comfort in that, because your problems are your private nightmare. You want to know what first aid you can do to help you feel better, be stronger and able to manage through these tough times.

Here are first aid tips to keep you on top of the event or situation.

**Safety is your first priority.

To be able to handle any problem, your first priority is your safety and the safety of others. If this is not an issue then you focus on the problem, learning and remedy.

1. Stand Tall.  

Yes, now is the time to think about posture.  This is a first aid benefit to  make sure you are in a good space to see the problem positively. No head bowed or fingers in the ears.  When you stand tall you breathe better, you see into the distance and you are taking the posture of someone who is in control.

2. Clear the thinking.

If you are having thoughts of blame or feeling like the victim, or someone's fault or some one owes you, then your problem is magnified and you won't see a solution.
You will only get short term sympathy.
Get a reality check on what you are thinking.  You want better, you expect better, You are responsible for your solutions. Practise and reinforce your positive emotions.  Look for gratitude and appreciation.  Those positive emotions create a  trickle down effect to improve the clarity of thought. Thinking clearly is a necessity when you are handling a problem.

3. Look at the problem from all sides.

When you look at your problem from other perspectives, you are expanding your understanding of the situation, pulling it apart and putting it back together and usually in a different way.
It is adapting the 4 NLP perceptual positions and applying to your problem. Start with what is your personal view of the problem, then how does it look from another person's perspective. The next position is to stand back and be objective about the problem, and then in the mirror, look at the big picture and how would you react to yourself.  When you look at the problem from all sides, the problem tends to lose its power over you.

Now, you are getting ideas, seeing things differently and solutions are coming. Remember, solutions don't always come in one size fits all or a one application cure.

It would be very rare if you are a problem pioneer. 
Someone else has had a very similar experience. 
It's ok to say you need advice or talk it through with a valued colleague.  
Help is always very near.

4. The future state.

Problems can come with frayed emotions and stress symptoms. Plus, the past can really hobble how you handle your problems. You know the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same things and expect a different result. Take a trip to the future you.

The future is the place you invent and the place you create to see the problem reaching its best solution. You may not have all the detail, but the future you invent is all the feelings of the situation working out well.  This is going to help you focus in the present to choose what serves you and drop what doesn't. It is going to help you create the best solutions for you.

The problem now has developed into the catalyst for learning and a better future.
Diamonds and pearls are not made perfect overnight.

Unlock your best future

My words are centred in the desire and intention to help people bring about their best and connect to their best future.