Looking Back for Healing

I have the privilege of sitting back with time to reflect, my life has slowed down and an opportunity, no necessity to use this space to reflect on the year that is nearly over.   It is not a space you want to spend a lot of time, just enough to look for the highs, the lows, the learnings, the times I can say thank you again and oh, the times when I want to make sure I won't do that again!

Social Media posts give you the reminders of what went on.  I am not after the events but its more about what went on inside me, what really caught my attention and made a difference to who I am.

So, here are the 5 questions for what happened in 2017 and my answers will aid my continual healing and growth.

No 1. What in the year past really touched my heart, what stood out to me that made a difference?

When you have children, one of the greatest aspirations is that they are safe, happy, in love and so much more abundance in their lives.  I know this to be true for mine.  I could say that for every year, but this year it just held more significance for me.  There is pain in those thoughts too, because there is a separation adjustment to be made and like any parent you want them to be independent, yet you want to be their most significant person just like it used to be.  There is a little self-pity in those thoughts, my heart was touched by what is now past. Once I let that go, I am open to create new, perhaps a lot new in 2018.

No. 2. What gave me joy?

Ok, this is a tough one because it is never just one thing, one moment.  I noticed that when I choose joy as my action, then my reactions to whatever happens are cocooned in joy.  2017 was a roller coaster ride, so I just put my hands in the air and ride the ups, the down, the twists and turns.  I picked up on those times when my mind would cloud with doubt and anxiety and shifted the thoughts.  Yes, I took out the "mind garbage" a lot more often!  I am a lot quicker at it now, don't leave it lying around to seriously infect my thoughts.  I know I can fit even more joy in now.

3. What fed my soul?

Taking risks, new places, new people all those new and exciting times that tested my inner strength, beliefs and identity. When pushed I looked for the right book to read, a great course, teachers, inspiration, travel.   Not only the new but I know my soul is fed with the routine of yoga, meditation, tapping, trance, tea in the morning with my gorgeous guy.  There is power in the simple rich routine.

4. What were the challenges and what did I do?

The last half of 2017 was uncomfortable and challenging. Times of grief, worry and anxiety were heavy to carry.  There were times when my focus was more on survival and as I look back on it, I was digging deeper about my limiting beliefs.  What a stretch!   I do feel stronger because though it was tough, I know I live what I believe and I believe I am confident to handle any situation.  I call it weight training for the spirit.

5. How did I make a difference?

I listened more closely to my gut feeling, my inner voice...intuition. When I listened, I would go into action.  It was the daily actions of calling someone, letting them know how great they are, sending appreciation, trusting my decisions, helping a stranger, helping a friend.  Everyday asking for the opportunity to make a difference.  I like that I did this.  I like who I am when I do this.

When you look back over the year that was, look at it as a healing experience and take what is precious to you into 2018.

My wish for you is to Create... Inspire...Expand your life in 2018.

Acts That Shift to Solution Focused

What happens when you are not looking for solutions?... it generally goes like this...your attention is on what is going wrong, all you can see and feel is the chaos you are in and the belief there is no way out.

You feel the anxiety rising, the body reacts and stiffens.
You feel stuck and you are stuck.
The negative chatter fills your head.
Your attention is glued to the problem and your world contracts.
We all have moments like this, the problems get bigger when you invite it to take up residence in your life.  The solutions are there,  just hidden under that dirty pile of woe.

Remember that monster in the cupboard, when as a child you hid under the bedding, and as if by getting smaller you will make it go away.  You believed it to be so real as you watched and waited for the monster to jump out at you.

Just by the small action of flicking the light switch on you can relax, you have found a solution for now, ready to deal with the monster and prove it is not real, it does not have a hold over you.

The one small spark of even the promise of a solution encourages you to lift your eyes and understand you are in charge.   Your energy kindles and you are brave enough to let it go and believe all is ok.

You know as you grow from a child to an adult that there is no monster and the cupboard is empty, yet even though we are all grown up, other monsters can take its place and we can continue to act out those same feelings and beliefs and our perception is that those monsters do exist and those problems will keep holding you back.

You create the stories in your life and if you are not aware of what is happening, then the problems and challenges, the setbacks and situations, anxiety and worry, stress and separation can keep you bound up.

Flick the switch and choose.

Choose to focus on one act that will turn the light on in your life.

One act of determination.

It can start out as a dance with one step forward one to the side even a step back, but there is motion and the movement is getting you closer to see more solutions, show more bravery and confidence.  Determination wins and you know you are and always will be safe. Show your determination by recognising that it is your perception of the situation and your perception can change it for the better.

One act of kindness.

Kindness to yourself and to another and when repeated daily lifts your thinking and stokes the small flame of your belief.

It can surprise you how your own world can change with these acts of kindness and how your view of the world can brighten.  You begin to trust that there is always a solution.  There is always your creative ability to trust that the needed skill, the needed ability, the needed person will be there.  You are experiencing more of the synergy of hope.

One act of thinking,  "what if.."

Anything is possible... Use these words as your mantra, soak in the belief you will discover your best fit solution.  There is a shift in your thinking and you will shine a light on possibilities.

One act of asking for answers

Put on your persistence, keep it with you every moment.  Build your persistence strength through practice.  Trust when you ask, the answers will come to you. Be attentive, create the quiet moments in your life and listen with your hand on your heart to your intuition.  Your ego and the negative chatter will fade into the background. Breathe a sigh of relief.

One act of movement

Your exercise routine and creative niche are important to you to shift your current state.  Problems can be worked out while you occupy your body with cardio, weights, walking, running, yoga, sport, painting, writing...any type of activity that will get you moving, raising your energy and allow the stress to ease.

One act of being practical

It is all in the attitude. When you view the problem as a time of learning, an ally and the problem is really there to show you how to master your life.  Stick with the feeling you are and always will be solution focused. You have the resources and they are there for you when you ask.

It is an inside workout for the shift to solution focused.  

When you know there is no monster and you are re-writing your story and see that by "switching on your light" you are bringing life to your success structure.

You may also like The Secrets of a Problem Solver

Your Master Plan

The year of 2017 is coming to an end and it is at this time, after all the celebrations anyway, that we think about looking for better. We are continually driven to achieve something more, to make the most of our life and design a future that brings us accomplishment and joy.  

Writing up your goals is our way to bring clarity and focus to our direction in life and the best way to see it all come together.  Your success will thrive when you know what your goals are and you are determined to follow through.

Pin this graphic where you can see it often and get ready to take the goal steps for your Master Plan.
When you have written your goals, put them where they are prompting you to action everyday.  The fridge, the mirror are always good spots.  In your diary or in your pantry may work for you.  Your phone reminder and recorder is another. 

Get that single minded focus that this is your master plan and it is through achieving these goals you are set for success.

Thank you

Two simple words connected together that can connect you to living better.

As a child you were instructed to always follow with what you receive with a thank you, as a parent you reinforce that with your children.  It is a universal social custom that is expected in society, but it is more than good manners that you are showing.

The thought behind these two words goes much deeper and the connection we have with the exchange of giving and receiving shows that thankfulness in our lives does create an aura of positive life nurturing attraction.

Say thank you for every gift you receive and for every time you can give, no matter how small, simple or insignificant you may think of it at the time.

Mornings are always a good place to start...first thoughts when you wake is to genuinely feel and express thank you for anything that comes to mind.

Maintain your thanks when, as the day goes on, you find yourself distracted with annoyances.  Come back and whisper thank you.

Use those pockets of time and catch when your mind wanders and say, oh yes, thank you.

When your head is not in the right space and you just can't see what to be thankful for, put your hand on your heart and say thank you.

Build, little by little those moments to tune into being thankful.

You are creating your own masterpiece and every brushstroke is layered upon those two words.

As your momentum grows and being thankful is your habit, you will experience times when you will walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet.

How to view an obstacle

Right now I am living the result of my choices and right now I need to be reminded that those decisions are based on the vision to create a better life.

The vision that I mapped out, the goals that I planned are stalling and the obstacles that are in my way are making life difficult.  The cracks of doubt and scarcity widen as I focus more on what is not working out for me rather than what is working out.  My positive determination is leaking and replaced with anxiety, sleeplessness and fretting.

Most of my energy is taken with viewing the obstacles and setbacks and I can see this is fuelling doubt for my choices and to doubt myself.

How do you break away from what you perceive to be the reality and seeing these obstacles as massive walls that want to pull you back and to give in and give up?

This is my reminder on what I know:

The perception of a situation can be the turning point in how you create your best life.

Loss, grief, sickness, scarcity do happen.  They are part of our reality. We have been trained and educated into a mindset of scarcity, never enough time, money and opportunity.  Step back and remember it is the perception of our circumstances and how we choose to act on those perceptions that will either make you or break you. Scarcity is not my heritage anymore.  We have access to many great writers and teachers who are devoted to developing our understanding and to mine how we think and feel.  I choose to leverage from the uplifting words of others to direct my life.

When I come out the other end of the events and circumstances in my life that have carried the most obstacles, the most heartache I can see in the rearview that there is also an opportunity.   You could say I look for the silver lining or the rainbow after the storm.  I need to know that there is worth when there is challenge. I look for what I can learn and dig deep to find out what is this problem trying to elicit from me, what skill does it need.

Obstacles do show up and you have to choose:  run away, focus on it as some sort of doomsday sign, or view the obstacles as an ally, not an enemy.

What I am learning now is:

To not give in to the emotion of these obstacles, there is no attachment and no worry. Give more energy to my dream and my plan. It is up to me to place my emotion where it will best serve to cultivate a strong heart and mind. I factor in that there will be obstacles and I see these challenges as an ally to learn and know that when it all comes together it will be even sweeter for the lessons I have learnt.

Motivate Me!

The most common response after someone asks me what I do is the challenge to
"Motivate Me!"  

Motivate me to lose the weight, motivate me to get a new job, motivate me to find the right partner.  Wouldn't it be wonderful to have the perfect magical answer to take you from your current view to a better view, to pour liquid motivation over you and make it that bit easier.

Most times I answer " you are already motivated, you just don't realise it."

Just by asking that question and asking for guidance, you are motivated to move in a different and better direction.

Let's look at how to acknowledge that sleeping giant of motivation in you....

Desire is the catalyst to motivate you. 

I can place ideas and practices along your path to strengthen your desire and guide you with the follow through but you know it is up to you to grab your future.

You are the source of your motivation.  It is in your DNA to want to progress and have better.
Your strongest desire is to break out of the ordinary and change things up. Declare what you desire.

Value drives your motivation.

Our circumstances do affect how we see ourselves and others and those experiences affect the perception of our value.  What you value you will focus on, whether it is of benefit or detriment to you.  When you value who you are and your place in this world,  there is a natural motivation.  The opposite is true as well. No value in yourself or what you are after, then no motivation.  Strong and positive self worth drives your motivation.

Focus stimulates your motivation

Every day you start your day with a focus. What that focus is, well again that is entirely up to you.
You can focus on what is not happening, what is not working or you can try the alternative and focus on what is possible, what will happen, what is happening to see your desire tangible. Focus feeds your motivation and motivation feeds your focus. Stimulate your motivation with the focus on the thoughts, actions and habits that will benefit you.

Now you are ready to put that motivation into practice.  How will you unlock your best future?

Series on Success, Chapter 7

Clarity not Confusion

In all your efforts to attain success, you discover that true success is about working from from the inside out. 

That first  step, that committed decision to want to unlock your future,  shows that you have already begun, already commenced the journey.  

That first step is the biggest step, because now you want to use the experiences of your past for knowledge and wisdom and turn the pain and the sorrow into understanding and empathy. 

There is clarity about your rightful place here and can now employ the right tools, your many skills and resourcefulness to live life with success.

Your clarity evokes a vision for your future choices and once you have your vision, you are ready for the master plan.

To step out use the essential tool, the one you access all the time...your imagination.

Allow your mind to wander to the future...what are you doing in 5 years? 

What will you be doing?  How will you be living? What is important to you? What does success look like for you?

The time you spend getting the detail in your vision will help to turn your stories into your big audacious and achievable goals. 

You have that clarity into what you want to achieve and can give it the attention to imagine its reality.

Keep it simple, keep it actionable and fun. 

Expand your vision using drawings, pictures, writing, colour, smells, conversation. Add laughter, joy, earnestness, accomplishment and completion to your story. Refine and polish the clarity of your new place.

When there is clarity, confusion is gone.
When there is clarity, you are more decisive. 
When there is clarity, confidence is home.
When there is clarity, your mind is strong.

This is last chapter and all good things are worth repeating...

Know this first...it is the most important!  Your success is not another's expectations of you and how you measure up to someone else, nor is it how much money or toys that you have.

Your success comes from a place of integrity, joy and value. 
It is there for you, when you choose.  
Your choice. 
You are making the statement, the intention that you now want a better life.   
Life is an amazing ride, it can get messy, it can be full of surprises, the greatest thing, is that you can put your individual stamp on it and enjoy each moment...make the most of it. 

It is your personal responsibility to shape your life. 

Success is there, it is waiting for you.

Previous chapters Series on Success
1. Confidence before Perfection
2. Mine the Mindset
3. Critical and Creative Friendships
4. Resourcefulness before Resources
5. Seek Focus & Flow
6. Purpose, Pleasure & Pain
7. Clarity not Confusion

Series on Success, Chapter 6

Purpose, Pleasure & Pain

Do you give any thought to questions about you?

Is there more to my life? 
Am I living life on my terms?
What does the more extraordinary version of me, look like? 

Not often do we give ourselves space for reflection and then act upon  it. Most often it is when we are challenged and facing some hardships in our life that we know that this is the time to evaluate what and why and how did I get into this mess.  

The motivation of pain can sit us down and say, "OK! I want to live life on my terms, I want better! What can I do?"

When you are seeking motivation to live life on your terms, remember that the motivation to look for better can come from the pleasure or the pain of your choices.

Look at the bigger question...What would it look like if you stepped into your purpose?

Declaring your purpose and following through does not come easily to everyone. Your purpose can be hard to pin down. Relax....because your purpose has a funny way of finding you. 

To even just start the questioning and seeing the purpose for your life signals you are breaking through to be extra ordinary.  

WHAT IF?....

You live a pleasurable life.  
You are master of your time, connecting with family, enjoy better relationships, lots of travel, lots of energy, you sleep better, life is enriched, abundant, positive and secure. 
This is living life on your terms and you want more. You want to expand, you want to connect, you want to create.  When you have this as your life the pleasure it creates also motivates.      You choose to step into your purpose.     Purpose meets Pleasure. 


Your choice is to hold back. A false sense of safe by not seeking out your best you.

There is a cloud of anxiety hanging around you, you feel scared, frustrated, lost.  A puppet to others and your surroundings.  You feel like a wannabe. You just can't put your finger on it, you know you want to set your direction yet you don't and you feel the pain that it is not working out for you.  
The motivation of pain and the intense desire to rise above your situation can set you on the path to purpose.

Use pleasure and pain, use it to amplify your motivation to succeed. 

You have a unique purpose, the right fit for you. There is no need to push it, just let it bubble to the surface.

Give yourself the gift of time... time out for yourself to clarify your purpose.

Look at what excites you, what you love to talk about or read about, what gets you all fired up, what comes naturally to you. Discover your true self.

It does not need to be static, because at each stage in your life you evaluate your life and what is important to you. The refining of your best. You are uniquely amazing and so is your purpose in this life.

It doesn't have to be long term, it can be here and now, it can change.  

No copies here...this is your individual unique only you purpose.

It may or may not draw money to you, but it can bring you abundance and definitely great joy and satisfaction.

Your purpose has a driving force that you know what it would be like if you went ahead, the pleasure it would give you and you know the pain, if you didn't step into your purpose.

Success is the zing in your purpose.  It's the name you give yourself. 
Success is the added benefit, the bonus in our game of life. 

Series on Success, Chapter 5

Seek Focus & Flow

This one, for me has been the key that has opened up how I live my life. 

All my good intentions would work for a while, then I would be distracted, put things off or start again. I can be impatient and I would get frustrated when it didn't happen fast enough for me. I was hooked on reaction to my environment. I was multi tasking and multi learning and when I sat back I could see I was just going from one experience to the next with little discipline or progress to my desired outcome. I was feeling conditioned to believe that pleasing others while denying self was the way to success and to being happy. The feelings of doubt and blame would pull me away from my goal and on to the path of stress.

Giving up seems like the easier path.

What I found worked was when I centred myself with a FOCUS on what I was feeling and what I wanted to feel, the thoughts I was creating and what I wanted to create, the inner work of strength and positive outlook. I let go...not that easy to begin with...and allowed my life to FLOW, for it is then that I trust, let go and listen to my inner wisdom to guide my actions, lead me to the people I most need to meet and develop a rhythm of success. You feel amazing and opportunities present themselves to you.  

More on Focus

When I focus on the expectancy of what I will achieve, it looks so real to me today, even though it is in the future. You place the focus on the emotion you feel as if you already there, rather than the outcome you want to happen. 

A wish from the heart is much stronger than a wish from the mind.  

When you pay attention to the feelings of what you desire, you create the energy and in turn create life.  When you stick with those positive feelings you will be drawn to what you have desired.  

More on Flow

Everything seems to work out when you stop scrambling and let yourself flow with the confidence it will all work out. 

Just imagine you are floating in the sea, gentle waves caress you and carry you to your destination.  This is the feeling of flow you want to have in your life.
Trust the flow and feel at ease with what is happening around you. Remind yourself of this sensation when anxiety and worry creep into your psyche.

Flow is based on trust that what is happening around you, does not change your inner guidance and emotional freedom. It is your natural state of how you want to live your life and what you want to see in your life.  Create your inner environment where self love and self worth will thrive. 

Connect to your positive feelings to what you want, listen with your heart and trust your daily actions to accomplish your goal.

Series on Success, chapter 4

You have that gut feeling that you want to shake things up.

You are more than ready to change your job, to look for a new career. It can be anything or even everything to help you progress and make this life, a life of wonder and magic.Dreams and ambitions fill your head daily.

The determination and excitement you are feeling are your catalyst to creating your best future. 

Now, not every day is going to be a winning day, there will be times when stuff happens and this is when your resourcefulness kicks in.

Resourcefulness before Resources

You are resourceful when you know there is more than one way to get to your goal.
Your resourcefulness shines through when you are strategic with your targets and with your resources and you have worked out what you want to see at each signpost along the way.

You nuture your resourcefulness with clarity.... 

  • Be strategic in how you go about getting what you want.
  • You are taking managed risks. 
  • There is a daily focus on your priorities.
  • Question your day, what went well and what can I do better?

Resourcefulness has always been there for you and it shows up when ...

  • There is belief in you and your capabilities. 
  • You appreciate what's working and where it is working. Small things acknowledged can be big acts of self love.
  • You are present and give yourself the time to soak up the gratitude for who you are and everything you have and will be.

Resourcefulness requires you to practise discipline in your life...

  • Especially the emotions.  You are more than your emotions and when anxious or over stressed then clarity of thought and positive vibes is lost.
  • Put rest, silence and play at the top of your list. Ease, flow and peace are the biggest indicators there is success in your life.
  • Look for what you can learn with every challenge.
You are resourceful when you are creative in your solutions and willing to take the risk.
You are resourceful when you look for ways through or around rather than ways to block.
You are resourceful when you push through your procrastination and take action.

Success does require your work, your time, your effort and your focus. Don't ever give up on yourself.

Your resourcefulness shows up in being practical in how you have thought out your vision and have mapped your goals.

Remember!  You created the vision of your future and it is a grand plan, a great legacy.
"The vision we create in our mind is the blueprint of our reality" Eckhardt Tolle


Series on Success, Chapter 3

With all the "inner" focus on rewiring your mindset to envision your success and create the chain of events to unlock your best future, remember the links in that chain that make it all worthwhile ... your friendships.  

The tribe and community that you support and that support you are your best motivator and motivation.

Success depends on these critical and creative friendships.

Critical and Creative Friendship

What a great asset to have a friend who can give you another perspective.

A friend you can bounce off your ideas and a friend who will listen to understand and give you the space to describe your vision and how you are going to achieve it.

This friend is your confidant, no secrets here, just honest, thoughtful feedback with no personal agenda.  The friends pays attention, asks questions and finds the opportunities that you are not seeing yet.

All this you may not find in one person, and this is where you look to your community, to find your tribe of like minded people who will help and encourage you.

Series on Success, Chapter 2

Confidence is built on evidence. 

Remember the times when you were confident, when you marched ahead because it meant so much to you, when you stepped out because you knew there was no other way for you, when you stood your ground because you believed this was best for you.  

Confidence I knew you were there, I just needed a reminder. I did it then, I can do it now.

The opposite can also be true. When you find yourself repeating the mantra "I am not confident" then it will be so.  

Mine your mindset and create a new story for yourself. 

Mine the Mindset

Your mindset for success, the belief in yourself and what you can accomplish is your strongest foundation. 

Keep developing your skill for positive, grateful thoughts and a strong belief that your success comes from the inside first.

How to strengthen your mindset is finding out what beliefs are working for you and what are working against you. 

The "Why" questions help to mine your truth.  This will help you dig a little deeper to discover what is important for you.

Keep asking yourself the WHY question
Look for 50 answers to these questions.
Why do I want this so badly? 
Why is this important to me?
Why will it make a difference?

Don't build your identity on past pain. It is not who you are. Purge your past and look at your failures, yes it sucked, but what are the lessons, what can I learn and use now? Do not accept limitation because of these experiences, it is just an illusion. 

Watch out for analysis paralysis. The type of paralysis that has you stuck going over old news that is of no future benefit to you. You cannot fix the past, you can choose your present actions and you can construct a new future. Remember, you are what you think. The defeatist dwells on the problem and the fears based on past experience.  
The courageous successful person will search for solutions and is optimistic and resilient. 

Daily practice is needed to strengthen optimism and resilience.  Daily practise to strengthen your confident mindset is necessary because, in the beginning how you have seen yourself can be set like concrete and difficult to let go.   The repetition of limiting thoughts about yourself and what you are capable of will require your daily attention to catch and release what is not working for you. 
A daily practise that I enjoy is meditation and tapping. 
Meditation will help to quieten the mind and sharpen your focus to absorb a more gentle and kind perspective of who you are.  If you are knew to meditation, just start out small. 
Find the quiet times in your day to focus on your breathing, breath in with the sound of SO and breathe out to the sound of HUM. Use meditation music and I AM scripts for further practice.  Enjoy the experience of allowing your mind to be calm and connect to your body and spirit. 
Here is a useful link for beginners How to Meditate
Tapping helps to face the things that are holding us back and clean up the stuff from the past. We can experience that stress response so quickly. We start off well and then succumb to the defeating ways of self sabotage and procrastination. When we tap on the meridian endpoints, while focusing on the stress, the challenge or whatever is going on in our lives that we are trying to overcome, we are sending a calming signal to the amygdala in the brain. With tapping you get to the root of the problem and start the reconditioning.  

Here is a link to basic tapping from its founder.   EFT Basic Recipe