Reminder on Life Balance


How do you achieve balance in your life?

Are you searching for balance in your life, where you can get done what you want to get done and enjoy every moment?  


Do you lie in bed on a Sunday night, dreading the week ahead?
It feels like there are so many competing priorities?
Do you get overwhelmed by all the business in your life?
The direction for your life is set by others and you are not feeling in control?
Do you feel like you are just surviving?






Do you know what is a balanced life for you, not someone else's idea of what a balanced life looks like?  

What is Life Balance?
Well it includes these and more...
 
Balance is more than time management
Balance joins not separates work and life
Balance is dynamic
Balance has boundaries set by your priorities
Balance shows up as calm, see things with clarity, motivated
Balance is what works for you. 



Balance is not measured by a clock

The clock is not a good indicator of a life in balance.  When you put your life in compartments, time set for the job, time set for the family and relationships, time set for you and the belief that balance can be achieved in a systematic orderly way. It may look like you have your act together and all is in order, but remember life is always in motion and you need to adapt.

When you set your life by the clock you are setting yourself up for ripples of frustration.  Your balance is not based on the time you spent in each compartment of your life; they are achieved when you are enjoying the moment and the value it is bringing to you and to others. When you are juggling your job, others are relying on you to show up every day, when your day can go in so many different directions, assigning a percentage of your day to each "part" can pull you and put you off balance. 

When it comes to balance I think of how the tight rope walker uses balance and how the brain and the body work together, always in motion, readjusting to what is needed but focused on taking one step at a time. 

Balance comes from being in the present moment, to be able to adapt and adjust and get back on track.

Balance needs a compass

The compass is a good indicator of a life in balance. To source your balance work out what really is important, what are the priorities?  Your priorities give you your compass direction. 

Balance starts from knowing what is important to you and what you want to focus on - you have set the direction, your compass direction.  There will be urgent stuff to get done, the unexpected and that's ok, because you will readjust back to your compass direction. 

Working out your priorities is going to help with your goals and what you want to accomplish and more importantly see a shift in your life to sourcing the balance. Start small, it is better to make small adjustments over time, you are trying out what works for you.  




A Positive View


This is what happens when you view life through a positive lens....

1. Expect to be the Master of your life

You make many, many choices everyday and are bombarded with the opinions of others. The positive view is setting you up to raise your expectations to expect the best, to look for the best, to seek out the best in you and in your world and to be the master of your choices, your decisions. You shift your perspective from pleasing someone else to showing yourself as incredible, unique and amazing.


2. Discernment grows and right actions follow

What you will reap is trusting your discernment in taking the right actions and to manage the contrasts in your life.  It is not a fantasy life but one built on knowing that you have the strength of will to accept and expect life's opportunities and obstacles.

3. Increase in your Influence and Energy

As your positive outlook starts to seep through your mind and body you notice you attract the same.   The energy you exude is positive, your body language, the tone, pitch and pace of your voice portrays a person of wisdom.  You have the ability to control how others perceive you.  You decide how you want to be perceived. You decide the measure of influence you have.

4. Rise in Intuition Sensitivity

You are training yourself to focus.  Watch your thoughts, question beliefs, weigh up the pros and cons, sharpen your awareness. You are seeing your life and the world around you with a wider lens. You will notice the opposite happens when you revert to the negative and your world gets smaller and tougher to handle.

5. Flow, Motivation and Goals are in sync

You are thinking and feeling positive....its a great day and what you also notice is that motivations come naturally and the day unfolds.  There is a flow to what you do and a synchronicity to your life.

This is just 5 and so many more can be added to the list.

When you are in need of a boost to move more into a positive view...start with your habits.


Here are 3 Habits to help you to strengthen a positive view...

1. Train your brain to think greater than the situation. Set your thinking to thankfulness, look for ways to be and show thanks.
Do this habit every day..wake up giving thanks.  Don't get up until you feel thankful. This will shape your thinking for the rest of the day.


2. Every negative deserves a positive. Consciously control your mental chatter.  When you think, speak, act in a negative way....see it as sabotage, stop and change.
Get in the habit of catching as many of the negatives as you can in a day...tomorrow you will do better.

3. Give your self 10 minutes every day to confirm your goals. Write them, say them, visualise them and of course be thankful that the goals you want, you have already.

What Challenges You Motivates You


Our life stories prove that when your back is against the wall this is the time you find out what you are made of.

Do you have the perspective that the challenges are an opportunity for you to push back, motivated to prove it can be done?

Can you view the limitations as a way to show us what we are really capable of and the rush of our survival instinct is necessary as a motivator to choose our path?


It is not that you would wish for hard times. In fact, the opposite would be our wish.
A realistic intention is live your life to the full...  & know that the challenges will come your way.

When you declare your intention and want to carve out your life choices expect to weather the challenges and obstacles.  The challenges come to sharpen your resolve.

You may stumble when you doubt that you have the strength, the skills, the smarts to push through.  Years of conditioning can do that to you.  The tragic thing you could do is accept the worst for you, settle for the little and live the confined experience of the victim.  It is a shrivelled life with fear calling the shots.

Fear will always be there and  I explained in another blog how to view the fear as a tool for your advantage, rather than constricting your life.  Here is a paragraph from that blog to explain.

...I have come to recognise that Fear is my companion and with it, I can be Fearsome.  I know it is with me as a tool to use.  It sharpens my focus and my motivation. There are times when the fear is not real as it does not know the difference between a dangerous situation and when it is something that is just new to me. I understand that fear has a purpose and wants to keep me safe, but I don't let fear drive my life, it can come along for the ride, offer some advice but I will choose whether I pay attention to fear.  It is not going to get in the way of my big life, my dreams and my expression.  

When you are in the middle of tough times, it is very difficult to rise above the situation and glibly say oh, this is my motivation, bring it on.  Everyone has their own unique story and the degree of hardship we are to face and the choice of what to do with it.

Your attitude to view the challenges head on comes with preparation and with practise.

Viktor Frankl would be one of the unique and most told stories of a man who prepared and strengthened his view and mindset of how to live his life in a prisoner of war camp and claim victory.
Chris Gardner's life portrayed in the movie The Pursuit of Happyness, who went from homeless to CEO. His motivation was stronger that his circumstances.
J.K.Rowling who persisted and believed anything is possible and realised her dream as an author.

When you want more proof to see your challenges as a fire for your motivation, ask others about their unique stories.  Be curious about the how, what, why of their stories of triumph.  History is full of how others in the community have used the challenges for improvement. You are part of that community.

You prepare by filling your thinking with the knowledge that your inner resolve is getting stronger and stronger and your challenges will be faced as a catalyst to live a big life. Your practise is an expression of the preparation you have put in.





When Desire meets Action





When desire fuels commitment and meets with action you will get your results.

Desire causes you to reshape your thinking and challenge the current view.
Desire strengthens your focus, points you in the right direction.
I can dream about all that I desire in my life.
I can plan and imagine what it will look like.
I can spend my time creating and planning my future.
I can make the promises and design the goals.
I can nurture certainty in what can happen.

These mental upgrades I can do, while sitting on the lounge.

Now Add Commitment to this Desire and Action follows.

Commitment will cause you to add and subtract the daily actions to meet this desire.
Notice your reaction, be aware of the conditioned responses, the pull back and push through.
Expect it will be uncomfortable at first.
Set your priorities, do what matters, make the moves.
That is the change maker for seeing the desire you have for your life become your reality.
Desire requires your commitment to action.
Stay the course and expect the outcome.









Self Leadership Quest




I will start with the given; that you are always in a leadership role when it comes to your life.  You may not want to be a leader of a group but in every way how you live your life you are a leader of one - you. The decisions you make, your connections and community shows how you choose to lead yourself.  Are you satisfied with how you are leading your life?

When you are certain and agree that you first have a leadership responsibility to yourself, you are on a quest to take back your power and determine how you want your life.

Look for these in your quest...

You have everything you need.

It's the no excuse policy and a tough one to hold as a truth because there are so many competing and defeating beliefs that have held your attention.  Leading yourself requires that you know that what you need is there for you...the teacher, the ideas, the courage.  It is a step of trust.

Trust yourself.

Declare that you have the right amount of time.

Everything you need includes time. When you master your time you are trusting your leadership.
No such thing as procrastination or running out of time or losing time.  Procrastination is a marker that signals you have no power over your life.  You develop the capacity to be sure of your intentions, you plan and proceed with grace and calm as a master of your time.

Honour yourself.

Create a detailed plan of how to proceed.

Detailed plans can be such a chore. We may look for more ways to get out of this one rather than just do it.  Decisions have to be based on the research, planning and plotting for them to be the best informed decisions. It needs to be done. Be inventive as to how you put together your detailed plan. Use vision boards, mind mapping, visualisation as ways to create the journey of how you want to proceed.

Know yourself.


Look for inspiration from other leaders.

People who inspire you, who show their leadership no matter what their situation and lead with integrity and strength. These true stories are so delicious and will reward you with their insight.  There will always be one small action or words that will make a difference and expand your thinking.

Expand yourself.  


This is your quest, a leadership of one to create your best future...it is up to you......



The Morning Rituals


Morning ritual....The repeating acts you do when you first wake.  The motions you go through every morning to set up your day.  
It can slide from one extreme to another and it takes a decision to find that balance to act upon rather than react to how I want my morning and my day. It is a constant look at what I can do to fine tune the morning ritual for a better life.

Do you know these typical morning rituals?

Is it the Zombie walk...wake in a fog, shower and then coffee to really wake up.  The day is scattered with energy highs and lows, the mind is on auto, you seek out mind numbing escape and wish that maybe tomorrow will be better.

Perhaps, it is just the opposite with frantic pace to get up, get out and make it happen with a few drinks at the end of the day to cool down and an inevitable knowing that tomorrow will be the same, because that is just how it is.

We all know the morning ritual you have in place sets up your day.  Zombie or frantic is not want we really want, we want better than this.

The deciding factor is when you intentionally create a morning ritual that will lay the groundwork to strengthen your direction and lead you to be healthy, focused and fulfilled.

Start with one small change.

Wake up 15 minutes earlier. You can use an alarm clock, set a timer up in another room, try anything that will work for you to see you wake 15 minutes earlier.  After a while your body will naturally wake up at this new time.

What to do with those added 15 minutes?  Your ideas are the best ideas.  You have planned what to do the night before.  Start with a large glass of water and then you may like to stretch, walk, breathe in deeply the morning fresh air, read, listen to music, write what comes to mind.  Use your 15 minutes to raise your feel good energy.

When you are ready wake up 30 minutes earlier.  Again, you have planned your morning ritual. Add your goals steps, set your intentions for your tasks and how you will see them happen. Meditate to connect and calm. You are seeing your day full of possibilities.

Your 30 minute morning ritual of self care develops to be a part of you, who you are and what you do.  You would not miss it for anything.

You may want to extend the 30 minutes to 60 minutes now.

Pay special attention to your morning ritual, it is the beginning that will reward you and create a better day.








The mental model blocking your happiness

Do you believe that for happiness to be a part of your life there is a bargaining game that you do to manifest happiness?

It can go like this....

IF
you work really hard
you make yourself likeable
you are in the right relationship
you have your dream job
you fit in
you have nice stuff
you plan ahead
you are frugal
you stress to win
you declutter
you sleep more
you sleep less
you eat well
you juggle your day life a champion



THEN
you will deserve what you are striving for
you are worth being
you will know your happiness


The if....then model of thinking and believing anchors our worth on how we act and react to the world around us and within us.    It is the cause and effect programming that our upbringing and culture have instilled in us.  Dare I say to even control us.

The practise of this mental model cements the idea that your worth is not tangible until you have proved yourself with effort, hard work and striving.   Then happiness will follow.

When you stick to this belief, no matter how far you go, or how well you do there will always be the need to look for other ways to prove the if...then model for your life.

It can be a recurring cycle that keeps you just out of reach of that elusive happiness.

When you think if...then you are conditioned for surviving, scarcity - a definite block to happiness as part of your life.  Happiness, contentment, worth doesn't thrive in the if...then model.

There is one strong way to break this mental model and that is the the power of gratitude.

There is immense power in gratitude, gratitude is like a magnet that attracts for your highest good.  Gratitude raises your energy and centres you in the present.

Swap the if...then with I am thankful for who I am and where I am. Allow your life force to accept and expect.
Happiness will bubble up naturally.


People with Goals Succeed




Have you ever thought that some days you are just walking in circles? 

R U Feeling that apathy overload.

It is half way through the year and here is a nudge to refresh your goals.



You are the best reason to champion your goals, so set them up or dust them off...but make it happen.

If you want convincing, I have here 5 results for setting goals in your life, 5 great outcomes that make a difference to your quality of life.


Goals develop focus

Goals help you to be a quality shopper in life, where you only pick out what you want, what will work for you.  You will focus on what you need to be and do to reach that goal, no wasting time on something that is not the best for you. 

Now that brings more satisfaction into your life.

Goals develop responsibility.  

Goals require commitment and dedication and rely solely on you to make it happen. Yes, you can ask for help but it is your goal, your baby and it is up to you. 

Now that brings more courage and pride into your life.


Goals can stretch your limits. 

Goals show you that you are always more than you think you are. It maybe one small action to start with, get used to that and then move onto some more stretch because you are seeing more of what is possible. You really don't know how far you can go until you keep moving those goals out beyond your limits.

Now that brings more choices, more joy into your life.   


Goals create habits. 

To make goals happen, to see them as a reality in your life you need to look at including new habits and systems in your routine.   It is tough going if you don't re-jig your habits or how you are currently operating because if you don't, you will fall behind in seeing your goal come to life. Your new habits benefit your mind, body & soul and a value add to tying your goals to life. 

Now that brings certainty and strength into your life.

Goals develop your thinking.

Here is where it gets really interesting, because your goal maybe a tangible thing, like a job, house, car, finances, relationship, yet what the goal is really doing is helping you strengthen your positive thoughts, visualising how it will be and appreciating what is possible. This kind of thinking spills into all areas of your life, not just the one thing you picked out.

Now that brings a sense of truth and peace into your life.


When you want to max and sustain your satisfaction, your courage, your pride..
When you want more choices, more joy... 
When you want to bring on more certainty and strength, more truth and peace in  life
Set your sights on your goals.



My Current Top 10 Inspirational Quotes


Consider feeding your mind and soul with good words.
There is such an abundance of quotes and affirmations out there to inspire and challenge. Maybe too many quotes and they just waft over you with no real impact. So, I thought I would pick out my top 10 for now and just spend a little time chewing over what does it mean for me.
Word food to feed the mind and soul.


1.



It just sits under the surface, a paradox that individuality is celebrated, just as long as you conform to everyone else. RWE a champion of individualism in the mid 19th century, his quote is so relevant for now. A needed reminder, to be yourself, to know your opinions before the opinion of the masses, to create your own space in a crowd of conformity labels.    

2.


This I do, I pingpong between complicated to simple back to complicated.  I whisper this to myself when I labour over what, when and how. Life is really simple.  


3.



Just one of the many quotes from The Tao Te Ching that are pure ethereal wisdom.   

4.





One small action - you know there is better and you want a piece of that.  One small decision that can make a big difference.  When you know what you want, the next small action you want is how you will make it happen.
No big grand plans or talking about doing it, just one small action for change to how you want it to be.  One small action feeds into your habits. 
Look at the habits you have created over time that are disrupting your peace.
Add an action that will transform one habit in your morning. 
Remember, one small action makes a big difference.
This is from my post on 21st January.  I swear by the small steps, the habit change, the 1% difference for the sum of success.

5.



 Looking deep into nature reminds me of my instincts and my creativity and best of all, the peace that comes when you just take it all in.  The water analogy describes the how for your life and the ease of flow and being flexible.  Nature does provide the wisdom when looking to create your best life.

6.

They are the best teachers! 

7.





Rumi, a 13th century poet with words that continue to impact us.  What a gift to us! I picked this one for the top 10 as a reminder that you already have what you need.
8.





This is a quote from a previous post of mine & the innate certainty that you can develop with your inner wisdom.
Every morning I set aside at least 30 minutes for quiet thought and meditation, I have been doing this practise for so long now that my mind and body urges me to sit, focus on my breathe and be enveloped in quiet meditation.

I cherish this routine as it has provided a gateway into knowing myself better and to strengthen my focus on what is important to me.  The time out has helped me to limit the feelings of urgency, haste, confusion, doubt and build on the thoughts of safety, assuredness, direction. 

So many benefits from doing this simple daily exercise and one benefit I want to touch on today is the friendship you develop with your inner wisdom.

Let's say you are ready to set up your goals, yet the patterns of procrastination and limiting beliefs in who you are and what you can do are a minefield to making your goals happen.  You think it is an easier path to invent excuses and apportion blame.  This small thinking is not the safe option, actually it is the more dangerous as you gradually separate more from your true identity and your inner calling.
What if you gave yourself ten minutes a day to not push or pull, to just sit and listen to your breathing?  So simple.
When you quieten your mind and close the door on the chatter, you enter into a friendship with your inner wisdom.  At first, it is awkward but when you persist, you become more acquainted, you trust yourself more and there is no space for rebukes, judgement and criticism.  The resistance is known yet not an excuse anymore.
Find your best time for 10 minutes, explore what other ways you can do to develop your friendship with your inner wisdom.  Soon finding the time is no longer an issue and you will expand your determination and focus for what is good for you.

You will reside in a place where you know that what I want, wants me and what I seek, seeks me.


9.


TRUE.

10.




SaveSave

You can influence your past




We are either influenced by, or influencing one, or all of the three life zones. Life zones that are segmented as our past, our present and our future.  They are not stagnant or fixed in time but are entwined in all parts of our life.  We give a lot of power to our past, spend a lot of our thinking in the past and how what is past influences the now and the future.

Be more aware, get to know how this is hindering or enhancing your life, influence how you see your past and use it in your favour.

Create Your Future

I focus a lot on creating my future, the goal setting, mind bending play to see me lift my game.  Well, the reason I title my blog..Unlock Your Best Future...is all about creating and influencing how you live and enjoying the most and I focus a lot on research, experiment, test, learn... all I can to make the most of this life.  The warning on the label though is too much dreaming, too much thought in the future and you forget where you are right now.
You can create your future and still squeeze every beautiful, brilliant moment from this moment, not tomorrow's moments.


Influence Your Past

Do you store the memories that continue to give you anguish?
Past events, catastrophes, turmoil, those wrong turns can have a grip on you and while they torment, you won't let go.
How you make your choices now, how you live your life now, how you see your future can be stored and retrieved from past memories, influencing your thoughts, words and actions.
We can give the past all the power and continue to give the past that power over the rest of our life.
Who's victory is it anyway?  It does not make sense. It is your story, so as the hero, do you get stuck or do you take what happened and look at it in a new light.  Stronger, wiser, caring, smarter, scarred but now a warrior. Influence your past to strengthen your identity.


Determine Your Present

Ok, it's now and you are constantly making choices and decisions, some consciously and most unconsciously. Those few seconds before you make those everyday decisions, you are relying on how you see your past and your future.  You are using all that knowledge to determine your present.

Past, present, future are entwined. Respect that they are all parts of your hero story.
Be accountable for how You create your future, how You influence your past and how You determine your present.

Persistent Imagination

Persistent imagination is the means of fulfilling your intention.



I indulged in my imaginings
A dream like place
It was vivid, bright reality
Power surge and certainty

You must know exactly
There is no half way
Not quite, not yet
You must know exactly what you want 

Imagine all the details
It is real for you
Luxe into mood sensory vividness
Everyday ordinary accepted persistence

I created my imaginings
This is my reality
Now time has caught up
I am living my dreams

To spark your intention to life lean on your persistent imagination because it is the means of fulfilling your heart desire.  When you are stuck, in a rut, same thing every day and you are yearning to break loose but just don't know how, use your most powerful asset - your imagination.

Before you go to sleep imagine in vivid detail what you want.  Immerse yourself in the life.  Stay persistent, explore more of the life you enjoy each day.  Instead of reviewing what was, change it with your imagination to a new representation of the desired state.

Each night before you fall asleep go back to this reality. When you wake let it go and allow the natural shift to happen.

I have done this many times before and my last experience was a year ago when I desired to move from my home of 13 years.  I persistently imagined where I wanted to live and how I wanted to live, how I wanted to add value to my life and to others. I imagined the detail and revelled in the process of being, feeling, hearing, touching, seeing all that I wanted.  It was also a wonderful way to drift off to sleep. Now I am here and bursting with gratitude yet still a little bewildered how it all came to be, exactly as I had created in my imagination.

You are worthy and divine.  
Unlock your best future by allowing the power of your imagination to give you the means to fulfil your desire and intention. 

Essential Intention




When you make a clear intention, one you totally know will come to be is the essence which will create the form to naturally follow.  When your intention is clear to you,  the whole gamut of issues that bring on fear, barriers, obstacles, indecision become a minor annoyance, noticed and brushed off.

The rush to goals without that certainty you know what the end result will look like can lead you to lose sight of achieving the goal you so carefully planned, perhaps excessively planned.

Consider these moves when you are ready to design your best future...

A good move is to invest your time in shaping your intention.
Keep your phrasing to words that declare the intention as complete.
Start with "I am..., I know...., I live as.... I love...I create...I give....I receive....".

Be aware that your intention is having the experience in advance, so include the emotion you would attach to this experience.  When you voice your intention, when you write your intention enjoy the emotions, such as clarity, healed, solace, peace, joy, satisfaction, elation.

Exercise your imagination as a tool to explore the everyday actions you will be having as you set your intention in motion.  "When I wake up I will be......I enjoy doing.....I have the habit of......"

Your intention includes your body, your mind and your spirit.  You are syncing your energy and claiming it is already done.  Invest your time to soak in your intention into your everyday life.

Look for times to share your intention, explain to another and get encouragement from your community, a friend, or your mentor.  You believe it, strengthen your confidence by telling others.

One more move is needed, the organic trust of letting go.  Pushing and striving are a waste of your energy.  Your goals will take form as now there is a pull to trust your intuition and guide your action.  

Favourite Spaces



You choose your thoughts which evoke emotions and 
put words in your mouth which lead to your actions.



Do you accept this belief?

The recurring sequence from thought to follow through happens over and over again every day of your life.

Is it your belief then that whatever ailments you have, whatever situation you are in, it started with the thought choices you created and multiplied? This can be powerful life nurturing big bang when you are guided by this belief and consciously choose to guide your thoughts for positive results.




Those thoughts of busy, tired, sore, sick, down, out, lost are a go to habit that can be noticed and replaced.  It is an easier way to dam the consequences and go straight to reason, excuses, blame and judgement on external circumstances for your life, but where is the growth in that?

I take responsibility to connect with the spaces that will nurture the affirming thoughts I choose for my life.

First priority is I want to improve my life, enjoy my life and the company of others.  I am not broke, I don't need fixing yet there is a strong desire to evolve and be a better me than I was a year ago.

I depend on my favourite spaces to help to strengthen who I am and the positive accepting truthful thoughts I entertain in my mind.

Introspection is a space I visit in the morning. The first thoughts spring from the embedded desires and habits and I am on watch to catch the rapid fire thoughts that limit the possibilities.  Thoughts that can manifest into reality. Which ones do I choose to keep?

I make time to be in open spaces, country or coast, both work for me.  These favourite spaces evoke uplifting, grateful, creative thoughts. I need a daily fix of nature spaces, the habit of only the best will do gets stronger here.

Space anytime, anywhere for reading, learning, meditating, bath. It's a time out space, if only for a few moments to say yes again to my dreams and goals.

I would recommend:

1. Master your thoughts and you take responsibility for creating your best life.
2. Know your favourite go to spaces that connect you easily to creating life affirming thoughts.
3. Honour your life through being the best you.


Abundance Thinking




You can rely on Rumi for inspirational words.  Rumi, a 13th Century Persian poet who continues to impress on our lives.  Rumi's phrases and poetry have the power to question and to magnify our existence.  I love this one because it reminds me that abundance is already mine.  I just need to be mindful that I know what I am looking for and I am looking in the right places.

The abundance factor can seem so out of reach.
Yet Rumi says this one small phrase to reinforce it is already here, you already have it.
You have more than enough.

 What does abundance mean to me?

Question its shape and form.
⟿ Dig deeper than the immediate response based on cultural and conditioning beliefs.
  Remove the money factor and limits.
  What is your personal take on more than enough?

What does it look like?
Will you know it when you experience it?
Get specific and go into detail on the form of your abundance.
How you want to live, what you want to taste, who you want to see, where you want to go.

"Abundance - a situation where there is more than enough of something"

An abundance of energy
Abundance of health
Abundance of experiences
     of giving and receiving
   
An abundance of time
Abundance of joy
Abundance of space
     of travel and adventure

An abundance of strength
Abundance of faith
Abundance of peace
      of kindness and courage






If it was up to me


One of the toughest things to do is look at what you have done or has happened to you in the past and look at it objectively, remove the emotion, see it as a lesson, let go and move on.

I have such admiration for those who say they can do this with ease. It is an incredible skill to master an objective mindset and practise the ability to separate from the attached emotion that holds you in the past.

So much teaching out there about the merits of being present in the moment.  I persevere but you know what life is like, the memories swagger in when you least expect it.


"I remember when..."
My life was easier, tougher, better, worse"
"I carry this hurt, because..."
"I keep making this same mistake"
"Back then, I was stronger, fatter, fitter, smarter..."


How much of my thoughts can I allow to be about the past?
How much is too much that it will keep me stuck there?

There have been studies on this and it may be exaggerated or underrated but for the majority, the thoughts you have about the past is most of the time...over 90%.  That is a serious preoccupation with what you did either yesterday, months or years ago.

If it was up to me it is an easy road to keep travelling over and over again.  It is so automatic to keep going over and over old stuff and if your imagination is fired up you could really exaggerate those past events.  The good is even better, the bad is cringe worthy and the ugly, well that just stirs up lots of emotion.

Even when what you did in the past is holding you back from enjoying now you go there.  It is safe, known and oddly reassuring.

It is up to me to honour the good, the bad and the ugly of past me.   Those memories, those past mistakes and brilliant achievements are all part of the puzzle that makes up who I am.
It is also up to me to whittle down the 90% of time I spend thinking in the past, ramp up the thinking about loving the now and be curious about the possibilities of the future.


I read a reassuring metaphor about life and how it is like the workings of a tapestry.  You look at the back of a tapestry and the thread is in all directions, while what we see on the other side is a beautiful picture.  All the work behind the scenes is creating an intricate masterpiece.

It is up to me to honour my life masterpiece, reflect on the lessons, make every effort to view them as gifts and move on.  I like to think of that tapestry when my thoughts wander to the past and be reassured that yes all is ok, I am a work in progress.

"Life just gets curiouser and curiouser".

Cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English).― Lewis CarrollAlice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass






Words have Power

We know our words are a significant part of how we shape our mental health and our image.

The thoughts we create and collect shape the words that we use and the actions that follow.




I spent some time this morning to affirm what I wanted from me and my life and the funny thing is that most of the words started with the letter "P".

 So, I started writing a list of all the "P" words that I want to show up for me everyday and gauge what is their strength and resonance in my life.

This turned out to be some deep fun to keep me on track and sharpen the focus...journalling with flair.

I will pick my top 5, and rate them out of 10.  I may want to come back and rate the difference again at another time.

So here they are my "P" words today in no particular order.

Passion

I rate this one 8 out of 10.  Not sure what a 10 for me would look like, but I think it would be after drinking lots of coffee.  Sometimes passion means to be busy, involved, on target.  When most of the time passion is looking out for what you love and drawing more of that to you.
Right now, passion is the best me, the one that jumps out of bed, curious about my life and enjoying who I am and what I do. Passion feeds into my courage to say bring it on I am ready.


Peace

9 out of 10.  I don't know if I would give a 10 to anything, so 9 is feeling good right now.
Peace is a lot easier to come by when you limit news and social media intake. Peace comes from within, and  it is there when I meditate, when I accept it is what it is, when I let go.  Acceptance of who I am and my circumstances.  Peace is breathing slow and steady with a clear mind and it settles my chattering impulses.

Purposeful

I am giving this one a 4. I only sometimes look out for it and I don't spend as much time asking the "what is my purpose question". It doesn't seem to rate highly for me, not such a big deal.  As long as I am learning and helping and achieving, then purpose is there. No title or label to give it a tag. I am ok with that.  Purposeful sits comfortably in the background.

Play

I am a seeker of play and I want to rate this one a 7.  There has to be more play, more fun and not take myself too seriously.  I want to see the funny side of life, look for the light.  Play with words!  Play can get lost as an adult.  We can organise it and make time for it but it's the disorganised, unexpected moments that is a very natural way of being that I want in my life.

Prosperity

I deserve a dignified comfortable life.  My prosperity rating is 9 out of 10.  This is a strong mental attitude that I affirm every day.  I always get what I need and I know that the world is full of possibilities.  I enjoy this feeling of prosperity and I want it to be strong in my life and as a guiding word for others.

Highly recommend the time out to write down the words you repeat to yourself in your life.  Dig deeper into the words that give you power to fuel your strength of mind and character.



Break the habit of working on your faults


How can you be happy and fulfilled if the focus is on your nagging faults, on what you can't do or what you want to stop or what you don't have in your life?  It is just not possible.

Where you spend most of your focus will determine whether the habits you create can either work for you or not at all. Ok, you may be at a time when you want to  change up your habits because of your perceived faults.  If you only look at your faults, that is all you see and spending your time fixing your faults will narrow the view of yourself. It is not the uplifting motivating change you were expecting.

Negative momentum has a short motivation span and can be useful as a spark to get you going but when you stay with only working on your faults, you do get stuck.

Change the view.

Focus on what you bring to this life.  Create the great habits that are life affirming and exploit your strengths.  Yes, you do have wonderful qualities.  Your qualities should be the most important asset to you, not your faults.

There is a motivation cycle as you focus on your qualities and set habits that work for you.

The habits you have instilled in your life are the foundation for your success and success inspires that state of feeling in you that all is right in your world. Ok, now when you have habit achievement that feeds back into the loop of success as something tangible you create and attain and there it is again that feeling of success.  Habits stimulate the feeling of success.

You are tapping into the motivation and inspiration to stay consistent and reach beyond yourself.

When you create new habits with the incentive of removing your faults, it is easy at first then gets tougher to keep. Your faults just keep popping up when you give them so much attention.   Break the habit of working on your faults and look at what thoughts, words and actions will expand your qualities and strengths.  These are the positive life enriching habits that will get easier to mesh into your life and sustain.







May your wishes be fulfilled



As a child you breathed life into your wishes
A soft hush of the unknown yearning
You knew what you wanted
Your wishes showed you it is possible
Another time, another space and your wishes will be fulfilled
You let them go and continued to play
May your wishes be fulfilled.

Now you are all grown up
A million experiences have kept you alert
You are wary of disappointment
Separation says wishes belong to the stories of fairytales
Another time, another space, a door is closed
You let them go and continued to work.

There is a whisper
May your wishes be fulfilled.

You have stopped to listen
There it is again
A soft hush of the unknown yearning
The rush of knowing it is possible has returned
Another time, another space and you are home
Be encouraged your wishes never left you
You let them go and they stayed in your heart
May your wishes be fulfilled.




What is true for you?


What is true for you?  You might stumble over this one as it is not often , if ever, you would give your self the time to think about it. You might think this is silly, you know it, but when asked it is difficult to put the answer into words.

Put it another way...What do you believe in?
What is possible....what dreams and imaginings do you invite into your life?
What does the gatekeeper in your mind allow?
What is thrilling or scary?
What do you seek out?
Who do you attract to your life?
How do you see yourself?
How do you compare yourself to others?

I write and coach to serve others to design their best life.  This is done through setting the intention and crafting the goals.  To experience this happening in your life you would include the step to reflect where you are at with what you think, feel and believe is possible...your mindset...how you see the world and where you fit.

You are starting at the wrong place if you charge ahead with writing out your goals and plans without mining what is true for you.  For your best results include at the beginning and throughout the process of goal mapping and achievements.

What is true for you is so very important.  It is important to know what will pull you forward and what could hold you back.  What you are prepared to let go and what you are prepared to allow into your life.

These kind of "look into my soul"questions tend to be put to the side, hidden yet always disrupting or distracting you.  I have found that rushing to script the goals and running to make them happen can be a minefield if you have not truly thought through this step.

&
Give yourself the time to know what you think is possible, what you believe about yourself and what is true for you.  Your perception on how things are meant to be for you is your gatekeeper to open up or close down your intention and goals.

Look at knowing your self better than anyone else is your strength and protector and fuels your intuition, your inner guidance.  Intuition practice will be your greatest asset for designing your best life.

Still having trouble with your answer to the question...What is true for you?

Habits are a good place to begin because they reveal a lot about us. When it comes to goals it will be your habits that will power you into action.  It is our habits that provide a mirror to reveal what we believe is true for us.

So, S.I.F.T. through your habits.

Select the habits you love and the habits you hate and why you do them and what is your argument for continuing to have them as your habits.  You are taking the autopilot off and finding out what is important for you.

And....
Identify and write down the top 10 aha learnings. Writing THE list is the beginning.  Once you are done, you don't need it anymore. You are at the stage where you are knowing yourself better and true for you is now at the front of your thinking.  You are moving through discovery.

And...
Find the small gems in your day that bring an instant smile. Those quick reactions to the smallest of moments reveal more to you and your truth.  Find the smallest of habits that you intentionally created and what is their worth to you.

And...
Test out what you have discovered about what is true for you in other situations.  Are you open to think and act differently depending on the situation?
You may have played games and quizzes that ask you want you would do in a scenario or you have watched a reality show and have expressed what you would do if that was you.  Observe your words and thoughts for information on your perception and reaction to out of ordinary situations.

Your journey of self-discovery is always moving, never linear and always expanding.  We will spend our lifetime on this journey of discovery, reflection and interpretation. Is that true for you?














Don't fake the positive

 

When all is going well positive comes easily.  You know the genuine feel of positive and the ecstasy and strength of will you have when all is going your way.  When there are problems that genuine feeling of positive just doesn't bubble up so easily.

There is a feeling of fuzziness and lethargy hanging around you that causes you to question what you want & if you are in the right place. You can't fake positive, there is no benefit to you to fake positive.

When you are in a dark place, you know it won't last but you are there and you may as well make the most of the situation.

How would I know the light, if there was no darkness?

Your completeness has come about through joy and suffering.
In every situation fall back on that knowing feeling of gratitude.

Gratitude is the attitude for every condition and circumstance. 

Stretch your emotions, claim the attitude and use the darkness to sharpen how much you know about yourself.  Setbacks and despondency are all part of the mix, along with expectation and resilience to widen the life you are living and constantly creating.

Embrace each strength and weakness, each perfect and imperfect quality.  Faking positive when inside you are crumbling will not improve the circumstances.  It will only delay your return.








Evolving Goals




Your goals are points of history in your life.

They are created by you, they grow and change by your design and will become your past.  

Goals are the milestones in your story.

Look at the goals you create as the stepping stones you have placed down and can easily be moved and altered.  You created them, you can change them.

View your goals as always evolving to suit your present situation with the force to change your future and be a part of your past. 

Do not take on board that your goals are fixed points and cannot be altered because when goals are fixed and do not turn out exactly how you wanted, then blame and guilt are used to explain why you did not serve the goal.
  
The striving creates its own glass ceiling and allows in the feeling of never good enough, a fertile ground for feeding stress, excessive striving and anxiety.  

Let go of the grip on fixed goals.  

A fixed goal creates this spin cycle, a stagnant fixed point in time that will never be the right fit for a person who is always learning, always evolving, always expecting better.

Every day your goals can morph and create a fluid momentum, the words will change but the original intention has expanded. Goals are a tool for working towards being better.  You are not backing away from your goals, see them as part of your life and so are expected to evolve.  

Goals are meant to laser your focus to step out your first action, then your second action, your third action... The actions you have determined are fluid and dynamic.

Use action verbs to see your goals as a dynamic force. It is your creation and it is you who will continue to breathe life into these actions.  

When your heart is determined your mind and body will follow.   

Ask questions of what, when, how and why these goals mean so much to you. 
Your questions are fresh, energised and focused for a new day, new week, new goal ...

                What would you like to have happen instead?  
                What is it like looking back to the way it used to be?
                With all your new insights what is it like in the future?
                What am I now so grateful for?
                Who is the person I am willing to become?