Authentic is the point of difference

Remember this, if you need reminding,
you are unique, 
there is no-one, absolutely no-one like you.
Let go of imitations,  try hards,  masks
Just authentic and true to you.
Your strongest point of difference is you
Put your hands up high and love your point of difference.

This is a question, I had to ask of me...Do I worry too much about what other people think of me? Do I sacrifice my opinions for the sake of fitting in? Am I being true to what I value?

This is easier said than done, because we are always being conditioned to run with the herd, to conform to the majority and squeeze our frame into someone else's view of the world and how it is done.

 It is a real good feeling, when you can raise your hands up high and love who you are and love what you do.  I know once you get cosy with your authentic self, you will really get to love this life of freedom. 

Check out the Ego  

We all have ego, but how big is yours? Too much and you will never be satisfied, you will always want more, nothing is ever good enough.   Ego overload looks like:
  • you are overly concerned with approval, 
  • asking for help is a weakness, 
  • you spend more time comparing yourself to others or competing against them, and 
  • you are obsessed with the need to be right.  

Check in Authentic Self

Being Comfortable                  
There is nothing more cool, than a person who is comfortable in their own skin.  You know the person, they are very self aware and socially aware.   They have a style rather than follow a fashion. They laugh out loud, enjoy the moment, speak their mind with no offence to others. For me, I am drawn to them and I want to get to know them and their ideas.

An upfront agenda in all dealings means what you say and what you do are the same. You are not saying things to please another or avoid a confrontation, or flatter to get what you want. What a refreshing and honest way to be. Your point of difference shines in a crowd.

Backseat Ego
Ego is just you- the thinking, feeling and conscious you and how you interpret yourself from others. 
You can shape your ego, just like you can shape your self esteem. If you keep seeing yourself as a competition with those around you, rather than see yourself complementing those around you, then ego is driving and what an anxious, aggressive, doubt ridden ride that can be.  The authentic life - the point of difference is when your ego has a wider view and value feedback.

Clear and present values offers yourself and others that consistency we all want. We know you are focused in your dealings, you are fair with others and your values show through in every dealing. You respect and others respect you. 

Exercise this point of difference for yourself, for your leadership spirit and look for it in others.

Confidence 101

When you choose something you are excited about confidence blooms

Remember the times when you were confident, when you marched ahead because it meant so much to you, when you stepped out because you knew there was  no other way for you, when you stood your ground because you believed.  Enjoy the emotion, ah confidence I knew you were there, I just needed a reminder. I did it then, I can do it now.

Confidence blooming requires action, and when you are excited about what will happen, you see that confidence comes along for the ride.

Confidence building starts with looking at your strong points.  No limitations or reasons, just your strong points. If you are struggling with this, then ask your dearest friend. Your strong list will remind you that confidence has played a part in that.

The best confidence boost is being kind to yourself, no need to push or struggle or hold on to something that is not adding to your life. 

Choose something you are excited about and confidence blooms.

I have often seen and experienced that when you really want to do something, when you are excited about it, then confidence is expected.  One of my confidence blooming stories was when I was doing work that made me miserable, in fact it only made the lack of confidence stronger and then I made the BIG decision to take the big step and change my path. At the time it couldn't get any bigger for me.

When I considered that to get into my chosen profession, I would need to go to University and at the time a little absurd as I hadn't studied or been in a schooling environment for a very long time, no money to spare, and the challenges "seemed" too much to even start . 

I stepped back from my limitations and looked at my strong points, I asked for support and I knew I could do this, so I studied and sat for the Year 12 entrance exam. I chose the toughest way, but I was extremely excited to get the opportunity of gaining my qualification and confidence came along for the ride. It's all history now and along with the qualification, I learnt the life lesson that when you want to live a life that has passion and excitement for what you do, then confidence comes along too.

Fearsome Fear

What is your take on fear? 
Do you think of fear as stopping you from doing what you really want to do?
Well, for me, there are 3 fear camps...which one are you in?

1. The camp where Fear strangles.

Are you in the camp where fear stops you from doing the things you want to be doing?  You are afraid you don't have the talent, that you don't get started because it has been done before, or you don't want to be ignored or rejected, perhaps you are waiting for perfect. The fear strangles your every ambition. It stops you before you can even get started. Fear is offering you a life that is so much smaller.

2. The camp where Fear is your arch enemy.

You see fear as your enemy, you face it,  smack it, tell it to f**k off. You are not having any of it and kick it to the kerb. Fear keeps popping up and you keep smacking it down. It requires your energy and stamina to keep facing it down. You think that by fighting fear it will go away and finally it will be out of your life.

3. The camp where Fear is your companion.

Perhaps, you see it is an accepted part of your life, it is there for your safety, it is a warning bell to let you know that there is a threat. You could say it is in the car with you and you have chosen for it to sit in the back seat. You respect the fear, listen and weigh up if it is true as you know that sometimes it doesn't really know what is going on.  

I have come to recognise that Fear is my companion and with it, I can be Fearsome.  I know it is with me as a tool to use.  It sharpens my focus and my motivation. There are times when the fear is not real as it does not know the difference between a dangerous situation and when it is something that is just new to me. I understand that fear has a purpose and wants to keep me safe, but I don't let fear drive my life, it can come along for the ride, offer some advice but I will choose whether I pay attention to fear.  It is not going to get in the way of my big life, my dreams and my expression.  

Set and Reset your intentions

small, short term, 
big, long term, 
specific or general 
Positive Intentions to improve and strengthen your life, 
your relationships or your surroundings 
Strengthen the resolve
Focus the mind
Stay the distance
Keep your intentions in sight, always
When the intention is set
You can see clearly

Sometimes it happens , that the times when we most need to set out our intentions, this is when we are least likely to do so. This is the Millie story. Millie had the intention to excel at her studies in a Bachelor of Business. Millie was motivated, and excited by the study and to gain her qualification. Staying on track with this intention was ok when things were going smoothly and there was not much to distract her.  After a few months into her studies, life threw Millie a few curve balls, everyday busy was getting in the way,  it was tough and many things were getting in the way of her study and the assignments were not completed on time.   The boyfriend left, she had to find other rental accommodation, every day it seemed that something would come up or other people's issues would affect her and take her away from her study.  The good intentions at the start were now turning into compromise. Millie neglected her studies and every day it moved her away from her original intention. Before the end of the first year of her studies, Millie found the stress of keeping up too much and left uni. 

Millie's story can happen to any of us, we all have those great moments of inspiration, set the intention, put together the goals and then stuff gets in the way.  I could quite easily replace Millie's "Stuff" with mine and see it deflect me from my -at the time-  inspired intention. Once my intentions are compromised there is the loss of focus leading to neglect of what I want to achieve. It would have been a good time to reset those intentions.

Set the intentions and get them fixed in your mind.

3 things to do

1. Get clear on your intentions

          keeps you progressing towards your aim or plan

2. Write it down, speak it out

3. Revisit, rewind, replay, refocus on your intention when you are feeling that "stuff" is causing a detour

When "stuff" gets in the way and you want to get back on track, remember that when your intentions are set:

  • You know what you want from life 
  • You know what you expect from others
  • Your priorities fall into place
  • You are not tempted to detour from course
  • There is authority in your demeanour
  • You are not paralysed by the wide array of options
  • You ENJOY every moment of seeing your intentions come to reality

7 Important conditions for learning

Look for these conditions in your life to improve your chances when you are seeking to change it up or learn something new.    

1. Awareness and pay close attention

How:  When it is important, you will be present in the situation. Multi-tasking detracts from learning. 

2. A degree of challenge and difference

How: What you are discovering is moving you to a degree of discomfort and it fuels your curiosity and you want to know more. 

3. Engage with the experience

How: Participation is the key here, no last minute rushes, excuses or forgotten tasks. These new experiences require your attention and action.

4. Reflect, rehearse, meditate

How: Ask why, ask how, analyse what it means for you and rehearse in your mind, see yourself doing it. Critical and creative thinking is as important as doing.

5. Emotionally aroused

How: Your positive or negative emotions you have attached to the learning experience trigger memory and retention.

6. Active and passionate

How: To do something once is not learning, it requires focus, effort, commitment and persistence. Passion is the driving force for your learning.

7. Positive attitude for the experience and for the outcome

How: This condition is the catalyst for learning. You want it and you are enthusiastic about the process and are committed to the outcome. 

"Experience coupled with attention leads to physical changes in the structure and future functioning of the nervous system.  This leads us with a clear physiological fact...moment by moment we choose and sculpt how our ever changing minds will work, we choose who we will be in the next moment in a very real sense, and these choices are left embossed in physical form on our material selves." Schwartz and Begley, 2002. The mind and brain; neuroplasticity and the power of mental force, Regan Books, NY.

Finding the clues for self sabotage

For me, to write a blog about unlocking your best future has crept up on me in some ways.  I say in some ways because I knew I wanted it, but I didn't believe it of me. I wanted to write, I had some ideas, but felt I would baulk at keeping it going and trusting what may be possible. Not much sense in starting, if I couldn't keep it going. So I didn't try to start.

This was my thinking not that long ago, I had some great excuses and the results were as expected, no blog writing, no outlet for creative expression, complaining I had no voice, no worth to offer. Now, I write 2-3 blogs a week.

 This is My Lesson in Self Sabotage - clues from my thoughts

Clue # 1 I didn't believe it of me

Right there in my language, I had just imposed limits on what I could do.  So I dug a little deeper as to why I would do this to myself and it was about looking for perfect.  I set up a belief that writing and blogging was for the experts. 

Clue # 2 Trust

I didn't trust that I could rely on myself. How is it possible that I trust others and others trust me, yet I did not trust myself to give it a go? What a big fat lie I let myself agree to.

Clue # 3 I didn't try

This is not a good escape clause for doing something you know you want to do. In other areas of my life giving up instead of giving it a go is not an option.  Yes, this was new for me, I have tried and failed before, I am ok. Yet, until I recognised this for what it was, I just accepted these terms and conditions.

This is my Lesson in turning it around - clues from my thoughts

What changed?

Instead of focusing on what I don't want to happen, I tuned into what I want and deleted the excuses.

Clue #1  I wanted to write
Shred away the obstacles and you can see very clearly what you are looking for. 

Clue # 2 Creeping up on me
It was a niggle then it gained momentum and it could only be appeased when I started. It was such a relief to start.

Clue # 3 I had ideas
The ideas needed a platform, I needed to find my creative expression. I spent more time focussing on what was possible.

At the time of this photo, the idea of coaching and helping others to unlock their best future was starting to become more than a niggle for me and I was open to new possibilities and what value I can be of service to others.  The library was a quiet place to think more about the next step. 
Me in a private library in Salzburg.

4 tips to help change and turn off the autopilot

Can you believe in a future that you cannot see or experience yet?

Did you know that in one day you have over 60 000 thoughts and over 90% of those thoughts are what you thought yesterday and the day before and the day before that.... they are in your past.  You are relying on your past thoughts, habits, emotions and experiences to build your next day, your future.  That means every day you are confirming your old thoughts, habits and emotions and you will keep doing this, even when it is not working for you, anymore.

The hardwired brain follows the same comfortable and familiar pattern and due to that repetition,  your body knows how to do it and you can shut off the thinking and go on auto.

What if you decided to create new possibilities?

The hardest part about change is not making the same choices you did yesterday.

Change is a place of uncertainty
Change process requires unlearning and relearning

It is going to be uncomfortable as it will no longer be familiar
Your body will challenge you and question these changes, make you doubtful and undecided
 AND the good news is
You are more powerful than you acknowledge

When you know your thoughts, behaviours, your actions, your personal reality are not serving you well and you want to make changes, start by checking what you are thinking and challenge the autopilot.  Look to what is anchoring you to the past. Those beliefs about needing another to feel complete, not enough money, I won't get my dream job, I have never done that before...and on and on.

Past                                          Future

To cross from the past to the future
  1. Be comfortable in the unknown, get used to it, know that when it is uncomfortable then your change is happening
  2. Create your future in the unknown, unlearn the thoughts that are anchored in the past and relearn the behaviours you want to demonstrate
  3. Mentally act how you want your future to be and teach your body. Through repetition, your body will believe that it is living the new reality
  4. Cultivate the emotional state ahead of the actual experience
Meditation and visualisation are two practices to bring order and focus to your mind and to connect your intended thoughts with the emotion.  Make it your intention to set up a "time" each day for meditation and visualisation practice.   For some, we may fall over on this habit before we can get it into our everyday routine. The chatter in our minds and the pull of the external environment causes restlessness and we give up. The body wants to get the "jobs" done, to move on to the next part of our routine.

If this is you, here are some simple ways to take you to regular meditation:

One thought  

To create a new life you are objectively looking at how you think, act and feel. 
There are no excuses, no blame, no external element that you can say I do this, because...

Start with building your skill of being very familiar with your unconscious state of mind.  

Remember, we have many thoughts in our mind, going through unchecked and your brain is organised to reflect everything you know from the past. 

Try this once every day, take just one thought or  behaviour and look at it objectively and decide if it is to be a part of your future. 

Here is a scenario   

Perhaps the positive..." I like when I walk into a crowded room, I am going to meet some very interesting people" Yes, I will keep that thought, I feel energised and it feels true and I see it in every part of my life.

Or, the thought that is not serving you well, "I hate when I walk into a crowded room, I am feeling very uncomfortable."

No, that is not serving me, I want to be confident with other people and make the most of this opportunity.

You are now becoming more intention aware. 


You are continuing to build your attention skills.  At any time of the day, take one thought or one behaviour that you no longer want to be a part of your future and rehearse how you want it to play out. This is your life story, you can change the script.

You can do this when sitting down, close your eyes, reduce the external stimulus around you, play it through your mind and when you get up, you want to naturally feel different.  

When you train your brain, you train your body.  Your body may not accept it at first, you may feel doubt and challenge. Repetition, whenever and wherever will help you unlearn and relearn.

Wanting more

You are meditating because meditation means to become familiar with.  You are becoming more comfortable with your intention awareness and disconnecting from the external world.  You enjoy just being mindful of your breathing.  There is less chatter and diversions coming to you in this quiet place. You are becoming stronger in your focus and you now want to go deeper, slow the brain waves down and focus on just nothing, on healing or on your future.  

4 principles to promote Luck

Good Luck

You are so lucky!

"Good Luck" a very common wish you give to others.  I didn't consider luck had anything to do with what I have achieved.  I could hope and wish for it, wish it for others.  Luck is chance and required no effort from me, so says the meaning of the word, Luck.

Noah Webster's dictionary, luck is "a purposeless, unpredictable and uncontrollable force that shapes events favourably or unfavourably for an individual, group or cause".[1] Yet the author Max Gunther defines it as "events that influence one's life and are seemingly beyond one's control".[2

  1. 1
    success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions.
    "it was just luck that the first kick went in"
    synonym,good fortune, good luck, success, successfulness, prosperityadvantage, advantageousness

Do you consider yourself a lucky or unlucky person?  

Do you miss opportunities, in the wrong place at the wrong time, not lucky enough to land that dream job?

Richard Wiseman , the author of the "Luck Factor" conducted research with people who considered themselves Lucky or Unlucky and his findings show that luck is intentional and our thoughts and behaviours are responsible. That is, you are in control of your luck, there is no chance. So now my attitude to being lucky has changed. I am a lucky person. Webster's dictionary needs an update on the meaning of luck to reflect that luck is in your hands.

Wiseman's research identified four principles to generate good fortune and if you practise these principles then you are lucky too.

  • SKILLED at creating and noticing chance opportunities
  • LISTEN to their intuition
  • CREATE self- fulfilling prophesies through positive expectations
  • ADOPT a resilient attitude 

I could wish you good luck, but you know you can claim it.

RU Available for success?

R U ready to be magnificent and see success as "this is what you do"?  It takes tenacity, it takes certainty and you are very likely to wrestle with your ego, your reputation and unhinge a lot of thinking that is not working for you.
You desire, You be magnificent, be marvellous, be the big You
Success is what it looks like when you are on your path, the path you choose and it reflects your self worth and as a wonderful benefit , it helps others to reach their best.

Success is more about what is going on inside 
what you can strive for on the outside.
Success starts with You
Is highly contagious to the group.

Today: 4 focus points on building success strength

1. Priority Focus

Where would we be without procedure, policy, SOP and our good and bad habits in our lives?  They do have a place, but they are not the priority.  They are there to reduce risk, to limit the need to re-think and a consequence is to harden our resistance to change.  Focus your thinking on  your priorities. The priorities that what will make the daily shift for better in what you do, what you say and what you think.

2. Alignment

I find there is so much chatter in its many forms, inside our head and in our world, from our past, to the maps we create to view the outside and everyday we take on more. Give yourself the time to review, sort and organise this information into useful, trivia, useless. Check yourself for what you are feeling, thinking and saying and align yourself to what will work for you.  

Healthy, giving, energising thoughts and words that are adding value to your success
No immediate impact on your path. You have recognised it does not fit into useful or useless. Not something to focus on or keep.
f you are listening to putdowns like "I doubt I can do this", that is in the Useless pile and not worth keeping. 

3. Certainty

"when you want to accomplish something, anything you must first expect it of yourself" Wayne Dyer
It is fundamental that you have a certainty, an unwavering belief that what you want to achieve you first must know it will work out.  There is something very electric about being around people who have such a certainty in their lives and make it happen.

4. Daydream Believer

This may seem contrary to how we have been taught. It was my number one thing for getting into trouble at school. "Lisa, stop daydreaming and get back to work!" When did daydreaming get to be so unpopular? Daydreaming  uses your imagination, clicks into your emotions and shows you what is possible. There are many pluses to daydreaming so I say daydream.  Your daydreams ignite your possibilities and propel you to make yourself available for success.