Mind the Gap

When I was in London, one of the many memories was the loud speaker at the train stations and the repeated caution of "Mind the Gap".  

That is the gap between the platform and the train carriage.  It's about watching your step when you get in a carriage....because there is a gap.  

After a while I got used to it and then I heard "Mind the bloody gap".  Did I just hear what I thought I heard? My goodness, that was special and for the rest of my day, I was heard to keep repeating "mind the bloody gap".  

Those four simple, unexpected words made my day.  Something simple, yet out of the ordinary that really tickled me and made me look at things differently.

Now I could say just insert a swear word to turn the ordinary into memorable and ok that can work...for a little while.  

You know, there are so many more unique, creative, out of the box ways of changing it up...

you know, 

  • putting the zing in your everyday, 

  • juicing up the volume of the little routine, or 

  • squeezing out every last drop of every wonderful moment.  

  • be a little crazy or be an even bigger crazy, 

  • laugh out loud, 

  • listen closely, 

  • give out compliments like confetti.

Sometimes you need to pay attention to those little squeaky self doubters in your head, those limiting beliefs that hold you hostage, but heh, you won't be able to hear them for all the wonderful cheering that is coming from your heart. They won't have the space to have your attention 24/7 and pull you back.

Here is what you do to change it up and get you in the space of making your day, your life that something special.....

Remember, keep it simple, have a lot of fun with it.

  • Look for it and grab the Zing in what you see, feel, hear, experience

  • Clear your Throat, time to connect,  because you want to be heard, you want a clear strong voice  

  • Touch someone else's heart with your words of appreciation

Why is it so hard to change?

Here is Why.....

1. You cannot make the same choices you made yesterday, so you go back to the way it was
2. Change is not a good fit in the beginning, it is uncomfortable and it is unfamiliar, so you say it is not for you and go back to the way it was
3. Change means there is unlearning and relearning and you struggle, so it is better to stay at the level where you are confident
4. Your habits are in a holding pattern and change will challenge that status
5. The past has more hold on you than the future

By the time you are 35,  95% of your behaviours are memorised - a remembered action.  Your body knows how to do it better than your brain. 

So when you want to make change, want some new habits happening, you want to upgrade your current situation, your body is going to naturally resist.

You are more powerful than you give yourself credit
When you believe change is hard, then it will be hard
When you believe change could have possibilities for you, then you will be more open to what is possible

2 tips on how to make it easier...

1. Practise feeling comfortable in the unknown  

Start with small things, a different way to work, a different place to eat, food you have not tried before, a new skill, many little steps that get you into believing that the unknown is not so hard.  When at work, look at your daily routine and pick one that you can do differently, make it fun, this is your change challenge and your building your change ready fitness.

2. Cultivate the emotions of what the new future will be like

How you feel will have a big impact on your behaviours and your actions. To create the future that you cannot see or experience yet, cultivate the emotional state ahead of the actual experience, your body will believe that it is living the new reality. 
You want to lose weight and your emotions are locked into what you are giving up, turn that around to what you are gaining and how you will feel, the emotions you are having....health will improve, lots of energy and feeling great.  

The Zen of Ironing and Self Love

It's the funny things you think about when doing the most mundane of jobs.  Ironing is not my favourite sport, it is one I try to avoid. Creases, wrinkles, crumpled clothes a real bad chore for me.

Yes, I have  the wash and wear, comfortable thrown ons, I love them to bits, but when I want to look my finest I need to put the effort in. So, here I was ironing and thinking about why I am doing this, perhaps let someone do it for me.   I had one of those "I see clearly now" moments....perhaps I can use ironing as my zen moment and time to mull over important stuff and checked in, that what I am doing is evidence of my self love and it is important for me to make the effort!

Ok, this is not a how to do your laundry session, but a great analogy about the effort we put into taking care of ourselves and to love who we are...self love. 

We show how much we love ourselves in many ways, one of them is in making the effort.

Keep adding, reminding, celebrating your list of what is your uniqueness, what have you accomplished, what do I love about me.

What does Self Love look like?

Radiant, happy, confident. These are sure external signs there is self love. 

Not the love where you are better than others or bragging about how great you are. It's the love where you want the best for yourself, take in all the sound advice about health, exercise and nutrition and put it into practice.

You are your own best friend, your biggest supporter, the greatest inspiration.

Would you live with a  person who spends their life with someone who is critical, puts themselves down, see their worst only and not their best?  Of course not, but we can so easily turn our back on loving our self.  Beating ourselves up for what we think should be.

Self love is an action.

We accept who we are, strengths, weaknesses, no more sorries or excuse me for being me.

There is compassion and when you self love you look for fulfilment, found in your time, on your terms and in your own way.

The decisions you make for your life come from a knowing sense of purpose and integrity.

Judgement gets out of your way for you and for others.

The bonus is that it rubs off on others.

Carl Jung is quoted as saying that the most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely. Let's add to that and say that it is the most amazing, abundant, mind boggling gift you can give yourself is to accept yourself completely.  Everything about you, everything.

It may have seemed strange to others in the house when I shouted out, while ironing...You go, girl!
But that's ok.

2 Tips on creating Life Balance

How do you achieve balance in your life?
Do you lie in bed on a Sunday night, dreading the week ahead?
It feels like there are so many competing priorities?
Do you get overwhelmed by all the business in your life?
The direction for your life is set by others and you are not feeling in control?
Do you feel like you are just surviving?

Are you searching for balance in your life, where you can get done what you want to get done and enjoy every moment?  Do you know what is a balanced life for you, not someone else's idea of what a balanced life looks like?  

What is Life Balance?
Well it includes these and more...
Balance is more than time management
Balance joins not separates work and life
Balance is dynamic
Balance has boundaries set by your priorities
Balance shows up as calm, see things with clarity, motivated
Balance is what works for you 

Tip One - Balance is not measured by a clock
The clock is not a good indicator of a life in balance.  When you put your life in compartments, time set for the job, time set for the family and relationships, time set for you and the belief that balance can be achieved in a systematic orderly way. It may look like you have your act together and all is in order, but remember life is always in motion and you need to adapt.

When you set your life by the clock you are setting yourself up for ripples of frustration.  Your balance is not based on the time you spent in each compartment of your life; they are achieved when you are enjoying the moment and the value it is bringing to you and to others. When you are juggling your job, others are relying on you to show up every day, when your day can go in so many different directions, assigning a percentage of your day to each "part" can pull you and put you off balance.

I struggle with the term work-life balance as if you stop one and start another, there is life in work and work in life - no need to pull them apart.

When it comes to balance I think of how the tight rope walker uses balance and how the brain and the body work together, always in motion, readjusting to what is needed but focused on taking one step at a time. 

Balance comes from being in the present moment, to be able to adapt and adjust and get back on track.

This leads to Tip Two and Balance needs a compass

The compass is a good indicator of a life in balance. To source your balance work out what really is important, what are the priorities?
This gives you direction.

Balance starts from knowing what is important to you and what you want to focus on - you have set the direction, your compass direction.  There will be urgent stuff to get done, the unexpected and that's ok, because you will readjust back to your compass direction. 

Working out your priorities is going to help with your goals and what you want to accomplish and more importantly see a shift in your life to sourcing the balance. Start small, it is better to make small adjustments over time, you are trying out what works for you.

Finding your balance comes from being honest with yourself in all areas of your life. 

For help connect with someone to help you strengthen your life balance and celebrate the minor and major wins.