How to make goals stick

The goal setting and getting path can be filled with a lot of obstacles along the way.

We first start out on this path of goal setting and getting filled with a lot of expectation on ourselves to make it happen.

The mechanics of goal planning with the aim to do your best and to have your sights set on something better for yourself is very sound.  

Yet, why would we set specific, challenging, time and result focused goals, put a lot of effort into the creation, say we are committed to the task, yet walk away from it?

When you reflect on the reasons and excuses, the many variables that come into play, ask these two questions:

What went well and what can I do better?
Reflection is a good tool for improvement and your answers to what went well gives you the connection to belief... if I can do that, I know I can do others things well too!

The question: What can I do better?

Doing the same things and expecting a different result doesn't work...we know that. Thinking and approaching it differently can create a new space for you to making your goals stick. 

Think about these common traps that can hold back your goals...

Stick to your unique qualities and abilities. Understand that one size does not fit all.

What is working brilliantly for one person, may not be your best way.  It is always helpful to start with a clear intention and understand what is your motivation to have this goal in your life.. You and what you are doing is a work in progress and the how you are going to make it happen and the when & how much is a development.  The bonus with setting goals is that you are finding more about yourself.

Don't settle  for anything less. Know yourself and what motivates you.

When you create a new goal, start with simple basic action steps

When you are new to goals and your design is to reach for the highest target, run the 30 km marathon, go the gym every day, lose the massive weight, gain the best job, the big leaps can become very complex and self defeating.

Start small, take the incremental improvements and factor in your whole lifestyle when designing goals.  

A great example of small gains is the sports coach for the British Cycling Team,  Dave Brailsford, he implemented the  1% incremental gains for Team Sky in the Tour de France and the British Cycling team. Brailsford used an holistic strategy with small improvements in every aspect of the athletes life to reach the team goals.  When you read his story, think about what you can do better using incremental gains.

Check your daily habits are working for you, not against you.

Goals are a plan for your life, include your daily habits

Habits are how you are going to make this goal achievable.  Leave this factor out and its set up to fail. Reflect and mull over what you are going to do differently and what you are not going to do to support your goal. Consistent habits generally take 3-4 weeks to stick. Advance your goal by linking it to new habits.

There is More on Habits here and check out the Simple Goal Design

So, look a little closer at what you can do better...

Does your motivation and intention match your goal?
Will small steps and adapting your lifestyle make a difference?
What daily habits can be included that will action your goals?
It's a new day.... Stick to your goals and Design your life

Your best gift

What would you say is the best gift, the most valuable reward that you can give to yourself?
The unique gift to yourself.  

Let's explore and stretch your imagination to find out. 
Try this exercise, it should take you about 5 minutes and the side benefit is that it is strengthening your imagination and intention, as well!

Declare to yourself, that you are in a generous mood, and you will choose the top ten gifts, cost is no barrier,  there are no limits. Choose the gifts you would most enjoy to have.

are they things?
is it travel?
do you want to learn more?
gain education?
cherish pets?
expand and deepen relationships?
see yourself in a new light?

What is the feeling they evoke in you?
Do they give you a sense of power, belonging, accomplishment, contentment?
Have the gifts that you give yourself been a childhood dream?

Let your imagination expand. You are allowing yourself to indulge in daydreaming.

Now choose your top three from your list of 10.  Go with your first guess, no overthinking here.
What is it about those top three that make a difference for you?

Choose again from those three and narrow it down to focus on one for now.

Imagine using all your senses, touch, taste, hear, see, smell and know this gift is in your possession.
It is real, you are living this gift you gave to yourself.
Let your anxiety fade away. You never run out of time for the important things.
Use your breathe to quieten your mind and help you focus your imagination.
Breathe in the certainty, breathe out and relax.

Time is open and you are enjoying these moments with the gift you have received.
There is a quickening in your energy.
A life force expanding your knowing that you are unique and worthy.  It feels so good!

Now let the gift go.
Hold on to the positive life energy.
Your best gift.

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.” Martha Graham

When Time Stands Still

I walked by the river
Lust love and life overwhelmed the senses
I tingle from the joy of knowing this freedom
Life is a masterpiece and dreaming is your drug
Time is not important
It stands still
How could this moment ever stop?

Shattered into pieces

Life, as I know it is ripped apart
In a void, a fragile bubble
Senses shut down
Time is not important
It stands still
How could this moment ever stop?

Give into the moment when time stands still
Treat myself gently
Life is a masterpiece worthy of care
Soak in the moments of rejuvenation
Trust in my wisdom in the moments of despair
Time is not important
The moment is the place I am revealed.

The strength in decisiveness

Like any skill, it is with daily planned practise that your ability is strengthened and your confidence in that ability expands.  You can even say, you can become an authority in that skill or skills.
We can use that same premise with the skill of decision making.

"The choices you make, not the chances you take determine your destiny" .... and can I add your decision making and the decisiveness you use in your everyday life develop your character and your intuition and as you master your skill of decisiveness, you become an authority in your ability to design your life.

Up to now you may have been practising your skill of procrastination and have become accustomed to living a "less than" life, perhaps even an authority in how to delay decisions.

Here, I have put together 6, no 5 😄😄😄😄😄 points to aid you in your strengthening exercise for improved decisiveness.  5 simple, though not easy actions to build your strength in decision making and have it serve you.

1. The To Do list will never go out of style.  Turn it into your new daily decisive habit, not just a list in your head about what you hope you will achieve.  The best way to make it happen is to write it down. Keep it simple, 6 on the list is enough and stick to it. Best time for a to do the list is the night before and that way you are mentally prepared for your new day. Not every day will be a clear path for you to complete your list. That doesn't mean you stop, you keep making the decision every night to have a to do list for the next day.

2. Add stretch to your daily decisions. "Don't expect a different result, if you keep doing the same things'  Like any exercise you can plateau so mix in something new when you can. Stretch your thinking, put yourself in situations where you can build your decision making skills. Your decisiveness leads to quiet confidence and the clarity to know what you want and how to achieve it.  Your decisiveness is a turning point in what you do, in your behaviour and in your attitude and is core to designing your life.

3. Your words show your thinking. Pay close attention to what you are saying in response to questions. Watch out for phrases like "I don't know, I'm not sure, maybe" Sure sign your ability to know what you want and to put it out there and make a decision is weak. Ok, you may not have the answer just yet, flip your phrases to strengthen your decisiveness. Try phrases like, "that is new for me, I want to know more, It is an important decision and I will consider my answer...or even the simple Yes and No.

4. As part of developing your decisiveness, train yourself to be more aware of your thoughts. You want to develop clarity, belief in who you are, what you can do and what you can attain. Talk to yourself daily in a positive self love, self worth mantra. Flood your thoughts with positive self talk.

5. Test your habits. Your space for new decision making is limited due to the habits you have established. You do the same thing, eat the same food, go to the same places, talk to the same people every day. You can use this opportunity for new decisions, focus on the actions or habits that support you and change the habits that cloud your thinking. Factor your new decision, your new course of action into your To Do and you will strengthen your actions for a new decisive day.

  Doors will open up for you when you strengthen your decision making.

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My word for the week - Worthy

What a magnificent thought to take into the week.

Feeling worthy tends to get caught up in actions and reactions....
Have you heard or spoken these? "If I do this then I will be worthy. When I am good I am worthy, When things are going well it means I am worthy.  When I lose the weight then I am worthy. When I wear my best clothes I am worthy."  A conditional worthiness that is pinning your hopes on actions and by doing you will transcend into a state of worthiness.

All of us need reminding that being worthy is your birthright.

You are born worthy.
There is no doing, no behaviour that makes you worthy or even more worthy. You do not manipulate or allow yourself to be manipulated to conjure up worthiness.   It cannot be given to you, it cannot be taken away.  Your worth is not written on a balance sheet.  There is no bargaining with your worth.

Pride or ego don't play a part in this, worthy is your natural state.
You are worthy.
Nurture your worth and the worth of others.
Breathe in these words I Am, I Am Worthy,  Let it soak into every cell of your being. Your first thought when you wake and your last thought before you sleep.  Accept this truth for yourself and for every person, every animal and every plant.

See your place in this world as worthy.
You will always be worthy.
Let go of the struggle to prove yourself.
You relax in this truth. You will notice generosity and openness will bubble up and the stress and judgements that mess with your thinking will shrivel and fade.