How to make goals stick

The goal setting and getting path can be filled with a lot of obstacles along the way.

We first start out on this path of goal setting and getting filled with a lot of expectation on ourselves to make it happen.

The mechanics of goal planning with the aim to do your best and to have your sights set on something better for yourself is very sound.  

Yet, why would we set specific, challenging, time and result focused goals, put a lot of effort into the creation, say we are committed to the task, yet walk away from it?

When you reflect on the reasons and excuses, the many variables that come into play, ask these two questions:

What went well and what can I do better?

Reflection is a good tool for improvement and your answers to what went well gives you the connection to belief... if I can do that, I know I can do others things well too!

The question: What can I do better?

Doing the same things and expecting a different result doesn't work...we know that. Thinking and approaching it differently can create a new space for you to making your goals stick. 

Think about these common traps that can hold back your goals...

Stick to your unique qualities and abilities. Understand that one size does not fit all.

What is working brilliantly for one person, may not be your best way.  It is always helpful to start with a clear intention and understand what is your motivation to have this goal in your life.. You and what you are doing is a work in progress and the how you are going to make it happen and the when & how much is a development.  The bonus with setting goals is that you are finding more about yourself.

Don't settle  for anything less. Know yourself and what motivates you.

When you create a new goal, start with simple basic action steps

When you are new to goals and your design is to reach for the highest target, run the 30 km marathon, go the gym every day, lose the massive weight, gain the best job, the big leaps can become very complex and self defeating.

Start small, take the incremental improvements and factor in your whole lifestyle when designing goals.  

A great example of small gains is the sports coach for the British Cycling Team,  Dave Brailsford, he implemented the  1% incremental gains for Team Sky in the Tour de France and the British Cycling team. Brailsford used an holistic strategy with small improvements in every aspect of the athletes life to reach the team goals.  When you read his story, think about what you can do better using incremental gains.

Check your daily habits are working for you, not against you.

Goals are a plan for your life, include your daily habits

Habits are how you are going to make this goal achievable.  Leave this factor out and its set up to fail. Reflect and mull over what you are going to do differently and what you are not going to do to support your goal. Consistent habits generally take 3-4 weeks to stick. Advance your goal by linking it to new habits.

There is More on Habits here and check out the Simple Goal Design

So, look a little closer at what you can do better...

Does your motivation and intention match your goal?
Will small steps and adapting your lifestyle make a difference?
What daily habits can be included that will action your goals?

It's a new day.... Stick to your goals and Design your life

Your best gift

What would you say is the best gift, the most valuable reward that you can give to yourself?
The unique gift to yourself.  

Let's explore and stretch your imagination to find out. 

Try this exercise, it should take you about 5 minutes and the side benefit is that it is strengthening your imagination and intention, as well!

Declare to yourself, that you are in a generous mood, and you will choose the top ten gifts, cost is no barrier,  there are no limits. Choose the gifts you would most enjoy to have.

are they things?
is it travel?
do you want to learn more?
gain education?
cherish pets?
expand and deepen relationships?
see yourself in a new light?

What is the feeling they evoke in you?
Do they give you a sense of power, belonging, accomplishment, contentment?
Have the gifts that you give yourself been a childhood dream?

Let your imagination expand. You are allowing yourself to indulge in daydreaming.

Now choose your top three from your list of 10.  Go with your first guess, no overthinking here.
What is it about those top three that make a difference for you?

Choose again from those three and narrow it down to focus on one for now.

Imagine using all your senses, touch, taste, hear, see, smell and know this gift is in your possession.
It is real, you are living this gift you gave to yourself.
Let your anxiety fade away. You never run out of time for the important things.
Use your breathe to quieten your mind and help you focus your imagination.
Breathe in the certainty, breathe out and relax.

Time is open and you are enjoying these moments with the gift you have received.
There is a quickening in your energy.
A life force expanding your knowing that you are unique and worthy.  It feels so good!

Now let the gift go.
Hold on to the positive life energy.
Your best gift.

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.” Martha Graham

When Time Stands Still

I walked by the river
Lust love and life overwhelmed the senses
I tingle from the joy of knowing this freedom
Life is a masterpiece and dreaming is your drug
Time is not important
It stands still
How could this moment ever stop?


Shattered into pieces
Life, as I know it is ripped apart
In a void, a fragile bubble
Senses shut down
Time is not important
It stands still
How could this moment ever stop?


Give into the moment when time stands still
Treat myself gently
Life is a masterpiece worthy of care
Soak in the moments of rejuvenation
Trust in my wisdom in the moments of despair
Time is not important
The moment is the place I am revealed.

The strength in decisiveness

Like any skill, it is with daily planned practise that your ability is strengthened and your confidence in that ability expands.  You can even say, you can become an authority in that skill or skills.
We can use that same premise with the skill of decision making.

"The choices you make, not the chances you take determine your destiny" .... and can I add your decision making and the decisiveness you use in your everyday life develop your character and your intuition and as you master your skill of decisiveness, you become an authority in your ability to design your life.

Up to now you may have been practising your skill of procrastination and have become accustomed to living a "less than" life, perhaps even an authority in how to delay decisions.

Here, I have put together 6, no 5 😄😄😄😄😄 points to aid you in your strengthening exercise for improved decisiveness.  5 simple, though not easy actions to build your strength in decision making and have it serve you.



1. The To Do list will never go out of style.  Turn it into your new daily decisive habit, not just a list in your head about what you hope you will achieve.  The best way to make it happen is to write it down. Keep it simple, 6 on the list is enough and stick to it. Best time for a to do the list is the night before and that way you are mentally prepared for your new day. Not every day will be a clear path for you to complete your list. That doesn't mean you stop, you keep making the decision every night to have a to do list for the next day.


2. Add stretch to your daily decisions. "Don't expect a different result, if you keep doing the same things'  Like any exercise you can plateau so mix in something new when you can. Stretch your thinking, put yourself in situations where you can build your decision making skills. Your decisiveness leads to quiet confidence and the clarity to know what you want and how to achieve it.  Your decisiveness is a turning point in what you do, in your behaviour and in your attitude and is core to designing your life.

3. Your words show your thinking. Pay close attention to what you are saying in response to questions. Watch out for phrases like "I don't know, I'm not sure, maybe" Sure sign your ability to know what you want and to put it out there and make a decision is weak. Ok, you may not have the answer just yet, flip your phrases to strengthen your decisiveness. Try phrases like, "that is new for me, I want to know more, It is an important decision and I will consider my answer...or even the simple Yes and No.

4. As part of developing your decisiveness, train yourself to be more aware of your thoughts. You want to develop clarity, belief in who you are, what you can do and what you can attain. Talk to yourself daily in a positive self love, self worth mantra. Flood your thoughts with positive self talk.

5. Test your habits. Your space for new decision making is limited due to the habits you have established. You do the same thing, eat the same food, go to the same places, talk to the same people every day. You can use this opportunity for new decisions, focus on the actions or habits that support you and change the habits that cloud your thinking. Factor your new decision, your new course of action into your To Do and you will strengthen your actions for a new decisive day.


  Doors will open up for you when you strengthen your decision making.

You may also like...

First Aid for Problems
The challenge of uncertainty

& Secrets of a Problem Solver

My word for the week - Worthy

What a magnificent thought to take into the week.

Feeling worthy tends to get caught up in actions and reactions....
Have you heard or spoken these? "If I do this then I will be worthy. When I am good I am worthy, When things are going well it means I am worthy.  When I lose the weight then I am worthy. When I wear my best clothes I am worthy."  A conditional worthiness that is pinning your hopes on actions and by doing you will transcend into a state of worthiness.

All of us need reminding that being worthy is your birthright.

You are born worthy.
There is no doing, no behaviour that makes you worthy or even more worthy. You do not manipulate or allow yourself to be manipulated to conjure up worthiness.   It cannot be given to you, it cannot be taken away.  Your worth is not written on a balance sheet.  There is no bargaining with your worth.

Pride or ego don't play a part in this, worthy is your natural state.
You are worthy.
Nurture your worth and the worth of others.
Breathe in these words I Am, I Am Worthy,  Let it soak into every cell of your being. Your first thought when you wake and your last thought before you sleep.  Accept this truth for yourself and for every person, every animal and every plant.

See your place in this world as worthy.
You will always be worthy.
Let go of the struggle to prove yourself.
You relax in this truth. You will notice generosity and openness will bubble up and the stress and judgements that mess with your thinking will shrivel and fade.

The mystery of change

"I have come to understand that storytelling is the ointment of the healer." Roy Henry Vickers.

I could sense the change coming. I knew deep down it was just around the corner.
I had a plan and goals set but I knew it was best to keep them loose and stay open to opportunities and possibilities.

Change comes from understanding ourselves, both positive and negative, the strengths, the weaknesses. The knowledge of how you respond to situations and circumstances and how you learn from past, present and future.

I have learnt that when you are setting your goals and you want them to stay fresh, make sure you give yourself some wiggle room.  There is that contradiction in designing goals to have the detail but be careful not to be so rigid that you miss an opportunity.

I know that my strength is in the underlying thought that everything always works out for the best, everything always works out for me.  Goals are designed based on that premise.

I understand that you don't cling too tight to your routine or the way you think it is supposed to be.
The best actions to keep close are acceptance and gratitude. Stick with the trust you have in your intentions and the vision you have created as you design your life.

There is a speck of disbelief in what is happening with my life right now, a sense of wonder wakes me up in the morning. I intentionally brush away the disbelief and exchange it for thank you. I am relaxed in knowing that what I can control and cannot control is more clearly defined.

I stepped out and in Clearing the Way.  I was able to be fully committed to expecting. It is a step, big or small is not the point, it is the commitment fully, all of it, risks included.

My story is so very similar to yours. You are awesome and the opportunities are a step away.

Why have a coach?

The successful athlete knows the power of coaching to improve their skills and keep them focused on their end goal.  What those people want to achieve in life, is the same as everyone else and that is to get out of their own way, see more clearly with intentional thought and build behaviours for action.  We see the coach role diversifying into many fields, like relationship, business, wellness, career to offer a few.    

It is not something new, but certainly is at a stage where it is far more excepted as a good decision to access the support and scaffold on the skills and experience of others to better our life opportunities.

You can do it alone but by investing in a coach you can achieve far more and get there a lot faster.  

Let me put forward a few simple reasons to answer "why have a coach" and let me know what you believe and if it is worthwhile having a coach for your own needs or as a business need.

1. A coach can be a powerful resource

The coach helps with the focus on your goals, with no other motive than to increase your chances for engagement leading to success.

2. Use a coach as a push and pull leverage

Coaches can ask the challenging questions, they provide the stimulus to motivate to the call for action, point out the blind spots, know your strengths.  You want to move forward, you want to make changes, a coach helps you push it forward.

3. Coaches provide accountability

Someone who is on your side and motivates us to act. A coach offers clarity to help you invest your time and your energy in only the most beneficial opportunities, see it as cutting through the clutter to get you to your preferred reality.

4. A coach has a mission

The reason coaches move into this arena, is that they have a strong mission to help others.  Use their mission to support your mission.

Secrets of a Problem Solver

Problems come to us everyday, the simple and not so simple.

How we solve these problems shows the character and leadership of how we choose 

to run our lives. 

As you unlock your best future you want to master problem solving.  

Here are 11 not-so-secret traits of the problem solver. 

Your checklist reminder of what to do when you face a problem.

(Also Infographic at the end) 

1. Don't jump to conclusions and assumptions

The method you used for a problem in the past, may not work for this one. Ready to solve, then start with an open heart and an open mind.

2. Aware of your perception of the problem

Perceptions can cloud your judgement. What you think,what you believe, what you have experienced influences your decision making. Be mindful your perception is not 100% reliable.

3.  Solving vs Winning

Action is only based on achieving an outcome. More problems are created when there is comparing and competing and the need to always be right.

4.  Work out the core problem

Ask the 5 WHY questions to look for the core problem.  A problem solver is always ready for the reality check. An aide to opening perceptions.

5.  Use all your senses

Like any good detective you gather all your information. You do this best by using all your senses. Your acute observation skills improves clarity of the situation.

 6. Curiosity to explore options

Your thinking, attitude and emotions is set on anything is possible. There is tenacity and curiosity to create new solutions.

7. Know the worst case scenario

Once you know the worst case scenario you can plan, prepare, prove and deliver. Courage comes forward to see this problem through to the best outcome.

8. Know your skills and limitations

As part of a community you know help is asked for and given. There is confidence in your abilities and humility to acknowledge your limitations.

9. Use both logic and intuition

Both work well together. Don't rush into any answer. Use the tools for problem solving to flesh out all suggestions and be guided by your intuition.

10. Positive Outlook

Look at what is working well now. There is always two sides. There is always something to learn from the problem.

11. Creativity

A key attribute for the problem solver. Willing to explore the new and imaginative. Ready to stand by your ideas.

A lesson on follow through

Like an open journal the once a week post lets me spill what tugs at my thoughts in a hundred words or less.

What I express may hit the target for another, a chance to spark an idea, a commune of like minds who are on the look out for every atom of inspiration.

Today, this lesson is for me and as I share, it may be for you.

Everyone and anyone can start the steps towards your goal,  the key is the consistency to keep going and  with the enthusiasm you had on the first day.  Here is the weak link...the follow through is the toughest part.  I can be ok for a week, maybe more but the tiny winy shiny object syndrome can grab me and pull me away from what was something important and worthwhile to deliver on my goals.

"Follow through" is the most important action to your goal design kit.Let me separate it into Parts to explain. Only 3 parts -  Parts A to C and the 2 Essentials hidden in plain sight.


Part A, you are not in the place you expected to be on that particular day.  You really do want to follow through but the whining sets in......WHY!!, on some of the days you should you just don't,  the follow through can be such a bitch.  Put the doona over my head, it's not working for me....it's the toddler coming out, or is that the inner child?  I could stop and leave the follow through. It feels like a thief stealing my options.












Part B, the restart is about your kit of strengths, your list of abilities, the memories of past glory.  I can do this, I can keep going, I am awesome! A reminder that you are an avid seeker and collector of Inspiration, how learning is fun and it is a thrill to be challenged and have the opportunities.
Of course, naturally ....  I am deliberate and careful of the choice I make, the habits to master, the thoughts I cultivate all with the purpose of doing better, being better. I am fully equipped for the next action step towards my goal.  






Part C of the follow through lesson...simple really....be kind to yourself and oh, here's a nudge, just get moving.
Call your coach, call your accountability buddy, do the exercise, catch up on sleep...whatever it takes to get you back on task.



Parts A to C  are real feelings we all have and a process we get better at, we acknowledge it happens and know what to do next.

& the 2 essentials hidden in plain sight, well .....

Follow through requires two things, one is responsibility and the other is accountability.

Part A helps to let out all the bad energy, the doubts and "what if's" that are hanging around you

 You acknowledge there is a problem and take responsibility

Part B is necessary to take stock of all that is good and possible and you are more than ready

You strengthen your determination, you take stock of how far you have come and what it will take to get there.

Part C is making sure you see self care as your fundamental right.

You take action, first for yourself and then action what is required.

Seeking Opportunity

Seeking Opportunity 

When you are in a situation that feels so bad and you feel you are in a place where you think there is no way out. The place you have found yourself in has so many limitations and hardships, it is difficult for you to continue, don't give up!  

Seek the one small seed of opportunity, it could be one small crack of possibility. 

Keep looking, it is there.  When you decide to start seeking, you start seeing opportunities.

Remember, the glass half empty or glass half full to describe your level of optimism or pessimism towards life.   Right now, it may look half empty.

The description has been used about seeing your life from the perspective of a glass half full, when you just know there is better, you are the optimist and the flip side of the glass half empty and all you see is what is wrong, the pessimist.  

What if you see the glass as always full? The best perspective for seeking opportunity is to see the glass as always full.  The opportunities are there, some you see and some are unseen.  Yet they are always there, you are the adapter.   

You look at the limitations in your life with a completely different perspective, you see your life as the glass always full.    

When you prepare your intention to create something better for your life and design your goals to determine your path, you don't set out to do it with the attitude of maybe.  The glass half empty pessimist will talk themselves into it is not working, it's not happening, things don't work out for me, something or someone is holding me back. They struggle at the early stage and see quitting as their only option. 


The glass half full, the attitude of the optimist can get you moving and believing and enjoying the ride, but that takes you only so far. Now add the attitude of the glass is always full, the adapter and the limitations and set backs are transformed into opportunities. You step out with the intention that it is done,  trust that what you see and what you are yet to see will deliver.  

Ok, you now see the glass is always full.  Limitations are seen as possibilities - the setbacks as opportunities.  To keep your focus on the opportunities stick with these behaviours - determination, resourcefulness, be adaptable and flexible.

You want to know what these three look like, you can certainly look to people you admire and who reveal these behaviours in their actions. 

For me, the simple lesson is in nature.   

A walk in the forest, and a path near a river or ocean has all the signs to show you what it is to be determined, to be resourceful and to be prepared to adapt and be flexible. 

The quiet times spent outside offer you the best lessons to apply to your life and realise your glass is always full.  

Keep looking it is there. 

When you decide to start seeking you start seeing opportunities.